Monday, February 27, 2006

Winwars ! excellent bit of .swf

Loving this winwars swf i found whilst Stumbling! - I saw it ages ago and is fairly glassco - but worth a look if you havent seen the screengrab below - then click here

Friday, February 24, 2006

Celebrate March 20th - Steak And Blowjob Day

Guys, you know the drill. Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for a significant other by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic.

Every Valentines day you rack your brains for that one special, unique gift that will show your wife or girlfriend that you really do love them more than any other. Now ladies, I'll let you in on a little secret; guys really don't enjoy this that much. Sure seeing that smile on your face when we get it right is priceless, but that smile is the result of weeks of blood, sweat and consideration. Another secret; guys feel left out. That's right, there's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or too embarrassed to admit it.

Which is why a new holiday has been created.

March 20th is now officially "Steak and Blowjob Day". Simple, effective and self explanatory, this holiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show your man how much you love him. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ. Thats it.

Finally, this twin pair of Valentine's Day and Steak and Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere try THAT much harder in February to ensure a memorable March 20th. Its like a perpetual love machine!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

News just in from Bavaria

A Bavarian village was flooded by liquid pig manure after a tank containing the fertilizer burst, German police said Wednesday. Sewage rose to 20 inches in the courtyards and streets of Elsa after gushing from the tank, which held some 240,000 litres of pig manure. "The village was swamped with green-brown liquid and it was pig manure -- the mother-of-all muck," said Rainer Prediger, a police spokesman in the nearby town of Coburg.

The second biggest spack in the world

Is a little dwarven prick called CB - cant name and shame quite yet as quite frankly im bored of the twats name and anything to do with him - In short he owes me half a grand and has been fobbing me off for 3 weeks - Now the twat thinks i should not lock the chubb so he cant get in and let him get his stuff - Quite frankly he's dimented - All my colleagues, bosses and reliable contacts say i am in the right, bearing in mind there is NO paperwork to suggest he renting from me - all this aside its just a load of shite i could do without.

That aside i have cracked in a record month - currently sitting on 10,800k GP for the month - Very very nice indeed.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

The most unpatient kid EVER


As seen on Break.com
Absolutely the most brilliant case of PC tourettes ever witnessed EVER - I have watched this German freak lots and lots of times and every time i sit there in awe with my hand over my face staring in wonderment. Quite frankly unmissable. If for some mad reason your WinMedia center doesnt work properly then click here - trust me this is legendry

I thank you

Monday, February 20, 2006

Inspiration and words of wisdom for the whiners among us

1. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
2. Do I look like a fucking people person?
3. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
4. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
5. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
6. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
7. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
8. You!... Off my planet!
9. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats.
10. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
11. The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.
12. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
13. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
14. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be ...?
15. A PBS mind in an MTV world.
16. Allow me to introduce my selves.
17. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
18. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
19. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
20. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
21. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
22. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
23. I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?
24. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
25. Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?
26. It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size.
27. A woman's favorite position is CEO.
28. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
29. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
30. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
31. Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?
32. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
33. Okay, okay, I take it back! UnFuck you!
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.
36. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
37. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
38. I plead contemporary insanity.
39. And which dwarf are you?
40. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
41. Meandering to a different drummer.
42. I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?

Friday, February 17, 2006

The Naomi 2006 worst pop awards results

Westlife and Lisa Scott-Lee were among the winners at the Naomi awards, an alternative to the Brits, which give prizes for the worst acts in pop. The light-hearted awards, run by digital channel Music Choice, are voted for by music industry experts. Former Steps singer Scott-Lee won worst British female solo artist, worst British single and worst pop act.

Westlife picked up worst international album and group and outstandingly bad contribution to music. The awards are named after supermodel Naomi Campbell's short-lived music career. She released a single called Love and Tears in 1994.

Winners in full:

  • Worst British Male Solo Artist - Lee Ryan
  • Worst British Female Solo Artist - Lisa Scott-Lee
  • Worst British Album - Steve Brookstein, Heart and Soul
  • Worst British Single - Lisa Scott-Lee, Electric
  • Worst Attempt at Rock - Son of Dork
  • Worst Urban Act - Ms Dynamite
  • Worst Live Act - Babyshambles
  • Worst Pop Act - Lisa Scott-Lee
  • Worst International Male Solo Artist - Jack Johnson
  • Worst International Female Solo Artist - Jessica Simpson
  • Worst International Album - Westlife, Face to Face
  • Worst International Group - Westlife
  • Worst International Breakthrough Artist - Pussycat Dolls
  • Outstandingly Bad Contribution to Music - Westlife

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Another record month ... possibly ?

Im on the way to yet another record month - 3k on a 65'' plasma - and almot 10k on projectors / screens and lappys to a gov. body - im sharing that GP but hey all good! - JJN said he'd up me a ton if i hit 10k - so i'll see if i can get there.

Anyway - CB is getting massively on my nerves - cant go into details but i feel that an eviction is imminent - just hope H from Rbar is ok to take the twats place. All in all things are ok - getting an unusual amount of hits thru gooogle for AC - interesting on valentines day as well! - i wonder . . hmm

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Valentines day - whats that then ?

Good lord - roses everywhere - text messages flying about - bollocks to it all - the one person id send a card to isnt about anymore so fuck it - actually if im honest i dont give a flying shite anymore anyway - bored of 14th Feb - Maybe next year huh

anyway love to Laura, Bernie, Beckie, Becca, Nina, Claire, Tressa, **** (can't name you! you have a BF who may see this ! haha) and Louise.

At least my hoover buddy is having a good day - Thanks to MC

Friday, February 10, 2006

Best joke in the world - Probably

My father told me that in life there is just one rule that you need to stick too which was "never shag a dwarf with learning difficulties"

Why i asked!

"Because its not big and its not clever son"

Fair enough!

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Suicide protester is actually drug dealer !

His street name is Skinner.. and prison pals say he sold drugs for 'Muslim cause'
By Tom Parry And Oonagh Blackman, Political Editor. THE protester who dressed as a suicide bomber at a London demonstration is a convicted crack cocaine dealer.

Student Omar Khayam was jailed in 2002 for possessing the drug with intent to supply. A source claimed yesterday he vowed to sell drugs to help radical Muslim groups. The 22-year-old vowed to sell drugs to raise money for radical Muslim groups, it was claimed yesterday. A source who knew him in jail said Khayam - known to pals as Skinner - was influenced by extremists while locked up for drug offences.

The insider said: "He was a very quiet guy and would only ever speak out when he was with other extremists.

"He told people that he would use the money from drugs for the cause, meaning radical Muslim groups. He has obviously become even more radicalised since he got out."

Khayam - who apologised yesterday for dressing as a suicide bomber at a London demo - was jailed in 2002 for possessing crack cocaine with intent to supply. He was freed on parole last year after half his six-year sentence.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Caption competition

I ran this some months ago - and as i was browsing over some old pages that have had some freaky google searches, i thought id add it again to see what comes of it. So heres the piccy and i await your caption.

The best by the way gets a link for a month at the top of my homepage with a banner of your choice - Great !