Thursday, June 01, 2006
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Friday, April 21, 2006
For now however my blogging days are over - You can find me over at b3ta - under a different name . .
other then that - click the tube link below to catch up with my films . . .
Friday, March 31, 2006
Monday, March 20, 2006
Hamburg police said officers found the head in a bag on a grass verge and arrested the man, who was in a confused state and admitted killing his wife. The body of the woman, aged 39, was found in their nearby flat. Hamburg police spokeswoman Ulrike Sweden said the man seemed "a bit crazy" and may have to see a doctor before charges can be brought.
She said police found a large knife in the flat in Eissendorf, in the south of the city. "It seems he used the knife to kill his wife and cut off the head," she told the BBC News website. The couple's two children - girls aged 13 and six - were found in the flat and taken into police care. "It seems they didn't see the body or what was going on," the spokeswoman said. A motive for the attack is still unclear. Both the man and his wife were of Turkish origin, with German citizenship.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Gundersen said she tried the beer but that it tasted a bit odd and was not fizzy. It turned out that a worker in a bar two floors below had mixed up the pipes on Saturday evening, wrongly connecting a new barrel to a water pipe leading to Gundersen's flat. The bar got water in its beer taps. "If it happens again I'm going to order Baileys (coffee liqueur)," she said.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Friday, March 03, 2006
Gary Glitters boots . . . .
Sorry about that. But he's a complete fucking c**t and needs to be shot in the face at close range - actually - i reckon drummer boy should be locked in his cell until he self combusts.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the director of Nursing became aware of Edna's heroic act, she considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news.
him. I am sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.
How soon can I go home?"
Monday, February 27, 2006
Friday, February 24, 2006
Every Valentines day you rack your brains for that one special, unique gift that will show your wife or girlfriend that you really do love them more than any other. Now ladies, I'll let you in on a little secret; guys really don't enjoy this that much. Sure seeing that smile on your face when we get it right is priceless, but that smile is the result of weeks of blood, sweat and consideration. Another secret; guys feel left out. That's right, there's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or too embarrassed to admit it.
Which is why a new holiday has been created.
March 20th is now officially "Steak and Blowjob Day". Simple, effective and self explanatory, this holiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show your man how much you love him. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ. Thats it.
Finally, this twin pair of Valentine's Day and Steak and Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere try THAT much harder in February to ensure a memorable March 20th. Its like a perpetual love machine!
Thursday, February 23, 2006
That aside i have cracked in a record month - currently sitting on 10,800k GP for the month - Very very nice indeed.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Monday, February 20, 2006
2. Do I look like a fucking people person?
3. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
4. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
5. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
6. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
7. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
8. You!... Off my planet!
9. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats.
10. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
11. The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.
12. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
13. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
14. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be ...?
15. A PBS mind in an MTV world.
16. Allow me to introduce my selves.
17. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
18. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
19. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
20. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
21. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
22. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
23. I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?
24. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
25. Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?
26. It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size.
27. A woman's favorite position is CEO.
28. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
29. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
30. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
31. Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?
32. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
33. Okay, okay, I take it back! UnFuck you!
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.
36. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
37. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
38. I plead contemporary insanity.
39. And which dwarf are you?
40. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
41. Meandering to a different drummer.
42. I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?
Friday, February 17, 2006
Westlife and Lisa Scott-Lee were among the winners at the Naomi awards, an alternative to the Brits, which give prizes for the worst acts in pop. The light-hearted awards, run by digital channel Music Choice, are voted for by music industry experts. Former Steps singer Scott-Lee won worst British female solo artist, worst British single and worst pop act.
Westlife picked up worst international album and group and outstandingly bad contribution to music. The awards are named after supermodel Naomi Campbell's short-lived music career. She released a single called Love and Tears in 1994.
Winners in full:
- Worst British Male Solo Artist - Lee Ryan
- Worst British Female Solo Artist - Lisa Scott-Lee
- Worst British Album - Steve Brookstein, Heart and Soul
- Worst British Single - Lisa Scott-Lee, Electric
- Worst Attempt at Rock - Son of Dork
- Worst Urban Act - Ms Dynamite
- Worst Live Act - Babyshambles
- Worst Pop Act - Lisa Scott-Lee
- Worst International Male Solo Artist - Jack Johnson
- Worst International Female Solo Artist - Jessica Simpson
- Worst International Album - Westlife, Face to Face
- Worst International Group - Westlife
- Worst International Breakthrough Artist - Pussycat Dolls
- Outstandingly Bad Contribution to Music - Westlife
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Anyway - CB is getting massively on my nerves - cant go into details but i feel that an eviction is imminent - just hope H from Rbar is ok to take the twats place. All in all things are ok - getting an unusual amount of hits thru gooogle for AC - interesting on valentines day as well! - i wonder . . hmm
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
anyway love to Laura, Bernie, Beckie, Becca, Nina, Claire, Tressa, **** (can't name you! you have a BF who may see this ! haha) and Louise.
At least my hoover buddy is having a good day - Thanks to MC
Friday, February 10, 2006
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Student Omar Khayam was jailed in 2002 for possessing the drug with intent to supply. A source claimed yesterday he vowed to sell drugs to help radical Muslim groups. The 22-year-old vowed to sell drugs to raise money for radical Muslim groups, it was claimed yesterday. A source who knew him in jail said Khayam - known to pals as Skinner - was influenced by extremists while locked up for drug offences.
The insider said: "He was a very quiet guy and would only ever speak out when he was with other extremists.
"He told people that he would use the money from drugs for the cause, meaning radical Muslim groups. He has obviously become even more radicalised since he got out."
Khayam - who apologised yesterday for dressing as a suicide bomber at a London demo - was jailed in 2002 for possessing crack cocaine with intent to supply. He was freed on parole last year after half his six-year sentence.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
The best by the way gets a link for a month at the top of my homepage with a banner of your choice - Great !
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Monday, January 30, 2006
2 more pints gulped and headed to the heaving dancefloor where it seemed like a fucking school disco - got the fuck off the dancefloor and headed back to the bar - TW was getting calls from da missus so he went and left me wobbling on a bar stool! Bad bad news - Got home and woke up Saturday day at 4pm - decided as i had no cash and CB hadnt paid my cash yet i went back to bed where i stayed until Sunday - Got up - Ate the contents of the freezer (what was left) and poured scorn on the twat of a flat-mate i have until Wednesday - when quite possibly i'll chuck his shit out. Good fekking riddance.
That was that . . bring on March . . Not Feb ! as im skint already! (thanks as ever to B3ta and Stoat for the image)
Friday, January 27, 2006
Thursday, January 26, 2006
So what did i do whilst B3ta was borked - work - thats what i worked ! hows that for a day ! wooo
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
So anyway i had a house inspection on Saturday and all was well - She came in and ooo'd and aaar'd about how nice the place was - which is true - Then asked 'Is there anything up with the place?' obviously i said the windows are fucked and low and behold i got a call from the window people yesterday and its being sorted - with all the problems i had last week this is damn awesome i think. Abbey are looking into getting that cash back for me - im hopefull but on a good note the agents have accepted the payment terms amicably as they understand my problem. All good.
Im over target too - thus pay in Feb is good, and im also looking into evicting the current tennant for being a total assbandit.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Not sure where im going in life - not since the great news i had in the week - the bank havent called me or filled me in with the missing cash scenario as yet - and if im honest i dont think anything will happen or come of it - So that aside i had a text conversation with an old flame and wish i fucking hadnt - TIP - when your 2 thirds thru a bottle of red DONT call ya ex's or for that matter anybody of the opposite sex. Period.
Right im off to have a bad day - see ya
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Click the piccy to zoomify (SSFW - semi safe for work - once zoomed becomes NSFW)
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Yes ?! isnt it bluntly the most outrageous comedy you've ever witnessed - I mean there is that mad bloke - Don Peacock who keeps hiring escorts and then grabs up da boobies and asks them if he can pee on them - Mental - what is that all about - and tehn the two ladies in the National Health Trust called Parker and Harris - who chuck stuff at each other and whom i think begin a killing spre gainst each other - looks liek that could at least be fairly funny - Then theres the Italian Slovakian cleaner who keeps showing off and saying 'Im shy' and 'Dont look at me' pure mentalness - The twithching Darts ladies and then the best of the lot are the 'Shut Up Family' - who remind me of a family in Cowden who have 3 daughters and on occasion when ive been there for diiner -(when i was seing the middle daughter) used to constantly tell each other to Shup up - And she actually reminds me of here too - !!! Wooooo
If you dont have a clue what the hell im talking about then click here and watch next weeks episode 3 - Realplayer is needed
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
One nice thing has happened today - i had a really nice red sky appear outside my window this afternoon. So with any luck it means all is forgiven and from tomorrow things will look Rosey again. They'd better anyway.
And just before you mosey on off to your cozy world - click on the photo and check in almost the middle of the photo to the right and you'll see the beginnings of what looks like twister - wooo
All in all im near to killing myself - its all a bit too much to handle - drinking doesnt solve anything - nor does hiding - so ive got an afternoon of negotiation to handle - im good at it so thats ok - its just that i cant really see the wood for the trees currently - and the woods are very very wooody - have a nice picture of what my brain feels like.
Feel free to wish me well in the next life wont you.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Please note Danny is now like myself - bald - and has been for some time - So how the HELL did he have all this hair at one time huh ! jesus christ. and just for the record - Dannys the microphone head who's holding the Burton bag - o and the photos nearly 20 years old now . . . makes me laugh how fashion has changed - pffft - btw - click here for an up to date of what Danny looks like.
Friday, January 13, 2006
My work is good - i introduced a new arm to the firm - a telecommunications portal which should be rolled out in a few weeks - all good for me - my major account bought over 20k's worth of kit last week with a promise of more next month - what can go wrong - o yea a lazy 2 bob flatmate who doesnt wash up and nicks my food - punk !
anyway have a good un :)
Now it goes to school with her, between two chunks of bread.
Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky. Silly Jill forgot her pill And now there's little Franky.
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept beside her, But Little Boy Blue and his horn.
Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over Rover took over and gave her a bone of his own.
Mary had a little lamb It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's arse and turned it's wool to nylon
Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman, What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon, Pies, you dickhead.
Mary had a little skirt with splits right up the sides And every time that Mary walked the boys could see her thighs. Mary had another skirt twas split right up the front ... but she didn't wear that one very often
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men said "F*ck him, He's an egg.
Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was funny that way.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Don't bother taking it off, it's too late....
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Want to see the Goatse virgin slideshow? Click here - it's totally safe for work and just in case you havent seen the original Mr.Goatse then click here (VERY NSFW you have been warned)
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
SO just in case any of you lot fancy messin with your blog template - make sure before you change everything (like me) make sure IE likes it first - It does odd things with padding and layout - Check the source code - theres an IE hack in there and i can't make stuff work different - anyone who can help i'd be most appreciative.
So Happy New Year finally to a few of my loyal supporters - Mainly John and Tressa - Keep those comments coming guys - I hope to pick up a few more nutters on teh way this year - so whatever you do - leave a loving comment before you go
Gervais' character in The Simpsons is based on David Brent from The Office sitcom. He moves into The Simpson household with Marge as the family take part in an episode of Wife Swap, while Homer moves in with his wife.
Friday, January 06, 2006
That aside - Who does actually fekking vote Lib Dem anyway huh?
And who the fuck wants to be leader of such a wimpy bunch of 'no-hope-of-ever-winning' the election losers. bored now. Bye
And did you see the contestants in CBB2006 - O MY GOD - Dennis Rodman hahhaha, Michael Barrymore (YAY), Jodie Marsh (woohooo), Rula Lenska (boooo), Preston from the Ordinary Boys (who), Maggot from GLC (crap) Pete Burns (what a weirdo), Faria the affair ridden wotsit who nearly made Sven resign (booo) and Traci Bingham (mmmm) tasty my thoughts are reserved on her for the short term, she is an absolute beauty! George Gallaway who isnt my fave MP in the world but iu dont have anything actually against him - and he seems like he could be good fun! - O and some normal bird called Chantelle who has to make all the others beleive that shes a Celeb by Sunday or get chucked out - Must see TV short term just to see that shit.
So off to the weekend and my first available boozing night tonight - shall i get garmed up and hit Clapham or go straight from work to somewhere glum. DM gets paid so he might be out for once pffft . . Jasons up for booze as well - and so's the Wills - Feeling lucky this weekend i am - we shall see. Cheers to Biroart for the gif - he has a series of these and they are wicked - click on his image to see the site.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
So anyway as i was saying - duringthe xmas period my good buddy JO turned up unexpectedly and hijacked me for a beer at the Rectory at 2pm Wednesday-week. We swiftly necked a Kroney and decided to get the lads out for a trip to the Griffin Bar in Clerkenwell Road - Any hot blooded fellas from South/North London will know this dive as the pound a snatch bar - where less then clothed 'lady's' strip nekked and pole dance for 5 minutes and then ask for a pound in a beer glass before the next 'lady' comes on. Now by this time we are whacked out on beer and narcotics and decide to get a private dance - which by the way is only 15 quid ! wooooo - that done we decided to head off to the Ministry of Sound. 20 squid to get in - not likely - so head off again to Suttons famous Bar Room Bar where we grab a pint and knock back a cap of KE's stuff. Then (yep off again) back in the car and dive into Croydons Latino bar (which used to be Brannigans) where KE swiftly grabs some old beast and snogs it to near death - Some of us waltz over to the Black Sheep - its full of grungers and we head back to my yard for beer and to chill.
Several hours later CB gets up and asks for a beer and KE gets nasty and abuses his sexuality to a point that was rude as fek - however all being mushed up no-one got annoyed and CR did get his hood spashed on by that big minger that he pulled - We have film evidence of KE snogging a pink mohicanned JCB - and we intend to splash it all over the intenet - o and here !
The rest of the week consisted of getting over that night - i decided to stay the hell in on New Years - couldnt bear to do anything - Saved money and started the year completely sober - The London fireworks were clerarly the best in the world - don't let anyone tell you any different ! - So onto this year - its started well - with new year resolution being to give up the weekday booze - Im keeping it up as already ive found a much better work attitude and i feel energetic and full of beans - I don't even want a beer at the moment - the thought of it makes me ill. So far so good - wish me luck and how do ya like my new template huh ? needs a little debugging and i may get funky on the background - i used to have a script that rotated jpg's so i may give that a go and freak u lot out ! wooooo