Thursday, July 28, 2005

Testing Zoundry Publisher

Testing Zoundry Publisher

Found a little gizmo called Zoundry on the net which is a blog templete designer and post designer - so here it is and i wonder if its any good ?
cakes.jpg

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

God said to read this blog every day !

God said to read this blog every day

No honestly he did - Been one of those days today - been let down by two big profit punters - "Oh yea well erm yes well, we kinda, um , went on the net again, and er found it 1 pound cheaper so we bought 10 of them" - Sick of these 1 pound cheaper c*nts - i really am - i am also sick of google (no no i love you) bloody sponsored ads - sick of it - rarr!!!

Anyway ive been dead busy at lunch finding stuff to keep my brain from congealing into a texture close to wee . . . Christopher Walken provided me with some mirth - I just cant get over how he seems to be floating in space yet actually not moving at all - bloody excellent if u ask me - Forget where it was - its just weird - so here it is for all to see - Sorry if youve seen it before but it deserves to be mentioned again (if it has been seen) o shut up . . . What else - hmm nothing - o yea bought 2 leather black sofas from bekwa for 150 quid - nice one - they are a bit battered on the underside where the cats been at it but thats not a problem really - they are a whole lot better then the old peices of shite i have in staorage which after this month will be history mother fuckers ! been paying like 125 quid a month for bloody a year and half now - sod that mother fucking shit goddamnit.

So tonight young JS and bekwa will be bringin a sofa over - yep just the one ! whilst young MP is off out enjoying himself spending money he owes other mofo's in da area - bit fucked off with that shit to be honest - seems that every time his sorry ass is needed to do something he has something better to do - grrrr

b3ta messageboard returns

b3ta messageboard returns

Phew ! I was getting worried - thinking that my work had blocked my dear b3ta - but no, in their own words -

"Sorry for the site being down for a couple of days - some small monkeys ate the USB wires that connect the Htmls to the Apaches. Fixed now. And a BIG BIG thanks to Cal for sorting it all out.
found by rob -"

Yea just great - theres me thinking for 2 whole days that my co. had stopped the site being seen by me - or anyone else! but alas no - so without any further ado here is the latest addition to the b3ta messageboard.

by the way B3ta is said like "Beta" - as in rhyming with "Peter" ! and not "bee three tee aay" like ive been saying now for about 2 years !

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

A Bears Tail (Manege Frei )

A Bears Tail (Manege Frei )

I like a good story and this peach of a flash movie is no exception - i think there is a huge, massive, ginourmous gap in the market for flash animators to get their works played on childrens television on a Saturday or Sunday - Cbeebies CBBC etc etc - (maybe good ol' T4 should get on this and run one after the ads between Hollyoaks ? ) i may write in !

'Manege Frei' is a particually good example of flash animation, produced by drydee.com who seems to have the loading time solved as well as quality of storyline and animation.

I dont stick stuff like this on my blog unless i loved it - or i thought it was funny - OR - it was basic toilet humour - This on the other-hand is absolutely great - I wish i had the skills to make something quite as beautiful as this - the author / director should be chuffed ! And guess what on closer inspection of Drydee's website it turns out he won the 2005 Flashforward film festival - in the Animation section - Well how about that !

GMessenger hits the rumour mill

GMessenger hits the rumour mill

Quite simply im a googler - I love Gmail and anything Google is just dandy - I was even close to buying a google tshirt ! Yep i was ! And now that i was looking for that link to show you what i meant i found this - A Blogger Fleece - all on the googlestore - What a brand ! huh - Ive just seen a marble maze i wanna buy next week for my desk ! Is that sad or what ?

So whats all this about the Gmessenger - well i had a look and i could see nothing that gave any idea that it was even in those great googlers over at HQ's head - there is a bit of blogging about it - i can only imagine that they will buy an outfit already in the messenger business like Mundu messenger or maybe Trillian ? - that aside some twot is selling the gmessenger name for 50 qersquillion dollars - never-the-less he got no bids ! wanker.


Anyone see Big Brother last night - think that Orlaith should be shot - shes completely bloody useless - at least Makosi has a brain and rightly said that if she was concealing a buzzing bleeper then shes would sit on the floor ! Jesus ! anyway she managed to make everyone highly paranoid and i think piss most of them off as well - she clearly needs to be voted out - and if we (the public) get to vote who is staying in i think it will be her. looking at Paddy Power Craigs at 1-2 on to win ! jeeesus that camp twot needs to sort it out as well - Anthony - pleeease hit him !

Watching GMTV again this morning and i think ive got a schollboy crush on Kate Garraway - Help - been looking on the intaweb for photos and it seems that shes a right old mother in law type - born 4th May (day before someone i know quite well !) and is single - Yeah right - Just in case you dunno who im on about here she is - and funnily enough i think she looks better on telly then she ever will do in a picture - trust me ! - no really she does - Oh who am i kidding ! hehehe

Right so what else is happening - hmm well B3ta has been down all day - for 2 days actually - and i found a code on stumble that enables me to crash servers easier - by sending 10 applications for a URL / image to a server and not just one - therefore jumping the queue - woopeedoo - havent noticed the difference as yet really ! and lastly a great picture from b3ta who im missing more and more the hours go by - the amusing gifs and messageboard do get me blood flowing again aftar a morning of demonic caopier selling .... jeeesus !

Good Linkage

Good Linkage







Just a little selection of linkage from the Kontraband site

Monday, July 25, 2005

Blue monday

Blue Monday

Overall its been shitty - the blog i wrote at 8 this morning was a bunch of shit and didnt get thru the html blogspot doctor - and then it tripped out the rest of my blogs html with loads of weirdness - great ! - so bad day overall - Spoke to BW and JS - both having probs - moody and no cash - tried the borrow me a few squid till Friday move - No go - as no cash spare basically.

PB dealt me a dodgy phone that doesnt work - great again ! - tried palming me off with a spare handset or something the tosser - so still dont have a phone to call people - again great ! He said tomorrow will bring fruits as he'll get one back ???

So the rest of it was a total farce - boring as fuck as usual - bored bored bored - going home to be boring - its been a dead long month with no fucker having any money - So 4 more days before payday - but hopefully one buddy in particular might give me my 20 back i lent - hehe

Friday, July 22, 2005

Police issue bomb suspect images

Police issue bomb suspect images

Police appealed for information based on the CCTV images

Police have issued CCTV images of four men they believe tried to detonate bombs on three London Tube trains and a bus on Thursday.

Met Assistant Commissioner Andy Hayman said anyone who knew who or where the men were should contact police.

The bombers fled after detonators went off but failed to set off explosives.

The fatal police shooting of a man at Stockwell Tube station on Friday was linked to anti-terrorist operations, Met Police chief Sir Ian Blair said.

Scotland Yard urged anyone who knew where the men captured by CCTV were to call 999, or if they could identify any of them to call the anti-terrorist hotline on 0800 789 321.

Officers raided three addresses across the capital on Friday as part of anti-terrorist operations.

That included a search of an address in Harrow Road, west London, where area resident Patricia Osbourne said she heard six shots fired.

Take a wild guess

Take a wild guess

As the title suggests - take a stab in the dark at what Microsofts 4th quarter profits were - not year to date or the whole year - just the last quarter ending 30th June 2005 . . . . have you a figure in mind - say 50 million ? Thats about right surely - No ? Want to think of a bigger figure - Say 500 million dollars ? Thats a lot of money isnt it - Think again pal !

What about 3700 million dollars or 3.7 billion ! - Yep now if you multiply that by four - you would get an average yearly profit figure yes ! Thats 14800 million dollars or 14.8 billion - Surely thats taking the piss Bill!

This is all down supposedly to us all needing more pc's and more laptops to play and work with - Cant someone else make a mark on Microsofts monopoly - I for one would like to use another OS but do you know what ? I havent got a clue what works with what or anything - So what do i do ? Just stick with Windows - Thats what we all do !

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Amusing stuff i find daily !

Amusing stuff i find daily!

First stumble this morning is a little peice apparently written by one of my heros the royally funny John Cleese (i looked up if he was a "sir" or OBE / CBE - he declined it in 1996!!!) So anyway as i said i find this fella most amusing so heres an excerpt of a brilliant page on declaring the revocation of Americas independance . . (too bloody right !)

So any heres a little example of point 9 - a fave of mine as a friend from across the pond mentioned that it looked weird seeing a photo of someone driving on the wrong side of the road (check this out!) - actually its the left side of the road and its correct - so heres the quote

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap, and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour. (wanna read the rest of the points? click here)

Again on my travels i found the largest magnifying glass in the world! ~ and you can use it to burn people and cars and even petrol trucks - all jolly good fun - Play here ! Im always up for blowing stuff up - im hooked again on Grand Theft Auto - even tho i have loads of newer and generally better games GTA still rocks as far as gameplays involved!


So what else - Well MO went off to Estonia last night for his brothers stag do - Wild times over there - asked for some fags on the way back - knowing him hed spent all his cash on the first night on beer and hookas ! heheh - So im on me todski until Sunday night ....

Must ring me dad supposed to be off Racing on Sunday at Brands Hatch for the Historic Supercar Superprix - Take a look at the link - pretty cool cars - All farly old so we will be expecting blown engines and stuff - Its on the full GP circuit (click the link for full map and pictures bloody good link actually) - So the cars will all be 2 litre V6 and above up to 5 litre V12 - Noisy and hopefully wheels will fall off - bearing in mind that im a cripple as well it should be a right laugh hobbling around the track - so i guess we'll be parked up near Druids Bend - where most of the good pile ups normally happen.


So what else is there to report ? Well GS got a walloping from JJN this morning - probably for making a lot of noise about his hire car not being booked properly (o dear o dear") - in working hours - hehehe - Actually i put my head down - as i think hes a little on the warpath at mo . . hmm ok i'll do a little bit of stumbling for a bit in a while see what it throws up.


Found something actually!! waheee - But this is old and i found it eons ago - Its a walkthrough flash game developed by the lads at Amanita and the game is called Samorost - Its kinda oddish but very cute - you have to click on the screen (obviously!) to get stuff moving and to progress through the 4 or 5 screens as i remember - its basically a puzzle - not too hard and not so easy as it just rolls through but you'll fall in love with the cutesy men and animals / aliens in the game - Very very well done flash and is particually original - I highly recommend it ! There are 2 other simular games that are also as original - but my fave is Samorost.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Walls arnt for jumping

Walls arnt for jumping

This made me laugh me little blue fibre glass cast off this morning 0 - Me old pal DM came round Saturday as i said earlier in the week played a bit of GTA and in a brief moment of screwdriver madness i attacked my server to give him the hard-drive to get a damned PC working at my house - So anyway i did just that and as luck would have it there was a 100gb drive in there ! Triffic !

Right so eventually called a cab for the "im walking home" plum ! i mean thats bloody miles ! actually think about it - its not the end of the world - but definately too far in my world - So cab called and door opened shut and this is the story (on email) i got from him on the story of leaving "The Fort"

Just so this text makes a little more sense - i live in a very well protected block of apartments in south London - It takes 3 different codes and 5 odd doors (with codes) to get in or out - the front gate needs a key which protects the main door with all the buzzers to ring me - Basically if you dont know my mobile number u aint comeing in ! Unless of course your superman (my man DM aint!)

I couldnt get out, was a bit pishd, thought ill jump the wall, not the fence, why? I dont know.

DONT BLOG THIS SHIT BTW YOU FREEK. (haha like im going to take any notice of that !)

So, im goin over the wall to the rite and not the railings, I get on top of the wall and realise theres lots of scary lookin bushes to the other side of said wall!!

So I think ill go over the gate, so I climb higher onto the gate post column thingyblob, and jump! in the air I realise im now about 20 foot up, (pishd dimensions!) and flying, totally didnt see the floor hurtling towards me, I tried to for the classis skydive decelleration move, (Muhahhahaa!!) realised I didnt have the altitude, so rotated again and went for the classic landing technique, feet, bend knees, thigh, roll, what I actually achieved was, rite foot, bend ankle, (Ouch!!) left foot, thud, no knees bend, left hand, ouch!

Guess who wet himself laughing at this !! - Yer me - sitting here with a broken leg after jumping off a bleeding car bonnet - ar so funy - so after wiping my eyes i decided to blog - hope you enjoyed it as much as me !

Turned out he was bedside for 2 days nursing said ankle - which made me wonder - why didnt you get my pc up and working monkeee ! jeeeeez

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

News just in re the MG deal

News just in re the MG deal

I have been advised not to tell anyone but i just couldnt help it - apparently the news just in is from a very trusted source is that the Chinese car manufacturer (who will remain nameless) and who are apparently taking over the MG plant, anyway they will be produing an super cheap car to launch in europe - I have a picture of it to share with everyone.

Enjoy

Hot or Not clearly gone mad


Hot or Not clearly gone mad!

Came in today after last nights stupidity - I'll get there in a minute and checked my blog for comments - Someone normally leaves something dodgy - so anyway to my absolute horror - i saw my hot or not thingy on the left of my blog at 9.4 - WTF how did that happen - So anyway - because i'll never get anything that high again - EVER here it is posted for all to see - just so you know i posted AC's piccy up and it was at 8.1 with 302 votes ..... hehe you ugly ho !

So anyway - last night -well got home and collapsed on the sofa - Mo came in almost immedeately as we were meeting JS and BW to drop off some glasses and BW wanted to do something on the lappy - Anyway - it turned out we were heading off to the pub - Hoooray ! Except no fucker had any money except me BW and Res - So halfway during the evening it turned out that BW gave Mo the eye and off to the back of the pub they went - JS got the raving hump and walked out basically - bit like a big girly blouse - Mo was completely oblivious to all this crap as was i - I was loooking at th ecutie on the next table to me - Ive seen her before and i recognise her from somewhere - i have no idea where from - Maybe shes the one - you know the one that ive been waiting for - lol !

Anyway off home at like gods knows what time - more stellas and Mo cracked out a surprise - decided to order Redhot on bloody Freeview - which was ok - until we realised it was soft porn - snoredom - Anyway - woke up this morning with my eyes looking very very bloodshot - not going anywhere all week - and today i'm cold calling - superb

Monday, July 18, 2005

What a marvellously spiffing weekend!

What a marvellously spiffing weekend!

Yep - it was - got leathered on Fiday night - Went out after work and had a few beers with the boys from work - Always good to go out with them - top laugh most of the time - then headed off to Warlingham with DF and GB to see BW - Got some more beers on the way back and got dropped off at home as they were going out - Got fairly leathered watching telly and went off to sleep.

Early doors Saturday awoken early by the constant noise from my neighbours (The Fire station!) - they have the gayest warning alarm ever - A bit like the camp ding dang dong "hello Campa's" from hi-de-hi - remember that ? If you do then erase it from your mind - It was bloody awful - much like the alarm call from the fire station - If you dont beleive me then ask one !

So anyway went off to Uckfield with BW and JS to get something or other and got to see the parents house - with stables and 40 odd acres of land - Wow - And i thought my great Uncles ranch in Norfolk was cool - Maybe it was the heat ! heheh - So anyway hung out the back of the 206cc all the way hoping to get burnt - but didnt - had plenty of beer and food as we stppoed at The Swan in Forest Row - If you look at the piccy you can just about see the seats outside the front where i was abused by a fat bird of a bloke called Dean who had teeth that a roadkill sheep after being run-over by a 40 foot artic' ! NO JOKE !

Got home and carried on with DM who came round to drink beer and play GTA3 till it was light more of less - I decided to get off at that point i had my Dads in the afternoon - and i didnt want to be wankered . So off to me dads on Sunday PM for a BBQ which was ok - A little dry since my stepsisters still largely ignoring me - or just being plain off - Not really sure why she decided to be like that in the first place - Im thinking it was because of missing her Birthday - hmm let me think - When the fuck did she ever do anything for mine ??? - Its not about that but if your going to get the hump then make it fair surely ! Also she annoys the tits out of me since all she want want wants is a new car -And she drives a Newish Ford Puma with Personalised number plate - O getting a bit old is it ??? grrr

Friday, July 15, 2005

No sex tonight (again!)

No sex again tonight (again!)

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled

"WHAT?"


I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,

"Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. (or any other night . . . fuck)

Whats the difference ?

What is the difference between "Guts" and "Balls"?

Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the lads, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the lads, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the arse and having the balls to say, "You're next fatty."

Play Battleships?


Play Battleships!

Dont be worried about bombs going off this weekend in your local shopping centre - Stay at home in the comfort of you very soft computer chair (or floor in my case) and play Battleships until your bored shitless - Once done vote on the left for how awesome you thinkmy blog is and then hug me as im a bit miffed at the moment.

What are you waiting for ?

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

We are not Afraid !


I am so not afraid of your bullshit my Bin-Laden - That my fellow Londoners have decided to bung up a website that give strength to the survivors and family of the London 52 (07/07) All of you out there wanna take a look at the great pictures these people are sending in then head on over by clicking the banner.

Draw me a lovely picture

Draw me a lovely picture!

Then copy the URL into comments and i'll mark you out of ten for the best i receive ! It's dead good fun and it will wastea ll of 30 seconds of your day to make me happy !

Don't have to go mad so it's easy and quick !!

Head on over to http://www.tinyimage.de/ (dont worry this will open a new window) and when your finished press GO - then very carefully 'COPY THE LINK URL' and paste into my commenting system - Please :)

There we go - now lets have some fun and like i said i'll be marking the results out of 10 for artistic and comedy merit - The ruder the better or if your of a religious sect then send me a pretty flower or something like above . . . ta

Wanted DEAD please


Wanted DEAD please
Originally uploaded by ruthless jack.
Dont want him alive - Just dead - Find this absolute wanker and blow him up in a closed room - Just so his arms and legs are blown off - Then torture him by getting a load of nutters to film themselves chanting menatl slander and then behead him and show it on the net - Front page of the BBC should do the trick.

Bastard - rot in hell

Daisypeaches77 strikes out a new pose


New Style
Originally uploaded by daisypeaches77.
Daisypeaches77 strikes out a new pose!

Just pure sex all in one beautiful package - Can't complain at this picture one little bit - I love it all over - In fact all of Daisy's pictures are a wonderment but it's kinda nice to know this lady is real - shes married and owns a company - she dont do smut and is proud of her body and what she can do to us mere blokes! which i adore - It makes me laugh in all honesty.

So enjoy!