Friday, April 22, 2005

O my word

O my word

O O O OOOOOOO my god - i remembered this picture - Isnt this the best peice of xxx you have EVER seen !

OK . . calm down Sy - it's only a ass - so what ? havent you seen one quite this good before ? - have to admit i have - but sadly she got away - something to do with a career apparently - yea - that ol chestnut - anyway readers (if i have any) it seems you can see the whole 130 pics just here

Posted by Hello

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Doctor and the Medics @ Butlins

Doctor and the medics

Doctor and the Medics @ Butlins ! should have got a piccy with me in it really ! Posted by Hello

Me at Butlins - With a stupid wig on .... Posted by Hello

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Bloody brilliant Google Local !

Bloody Brilliant Google Local

Check this out - i tried it a while ago but they must have updated it - For instance type in Pizza then your hometown followed by ,UK - press search and be wowed by the results - I was . . . Have fun with the satellite maps as well wont you !

Amazing bizarre fact #1

Amazing bizarre fact #1

Light waves enter the lens of the eye and project an upside-down image on the retina, which our brains turn right side up again. If you were fitted with glasses (me) that turned images upside down, after a while your brain would set things right for you, turning the images you see right side up again. When you took off the glasses, you would once again see the world upside down, until your brain readjusted and turned things right side up again.

Huh ! what i must try this someday - i wonder how long it takes to turn things up side down around again ? weird !

Human for Sale results for me!

Crusha ad before it was Crusha !

Crusha ad before it was Crusha

Why telling tales just might not always be so good

Telling tales just might not always be so good

You know - its ok to have a blog i suppose - but if i was to tell the real story of what happened over the weekend theres a lot of people who could possibly feel very stoopid - I have only one thing to say to a few of my colleagues - And that is - You aint who i thought you were - Sniping behind peoples backs seems to be a favourite past-time of a few people - and its amazing just how much you can hurt someone.

I dont profess to being tough anymore - In fact quite the opposite - Im a soft centred wooss - And anyone who knows me should know that constant "tittle-tattle" behind peoples backs is almost as bad as what i have done to one of my friends.

I wrote an extensive blog about a pal of mine MH - One day i was really mad and did something i am ashamed of (to this day im very sorry) - It meant that i have to move out of a place that actually im very happy - I dont want any hassle anymore - Im sick of moving about - And right now - im wishing i could stay there - Id happily stay in my room and you could be forgiven to even know i was there.

So im making a promise that i will stop slagging people off on my blog and talking behind their backs. Its just not cricket. and i wish the people who i work with would grow up and leave me the fuck alone - The constant back sniping and 2 faced comments is so transparent - idont even feel that i can work here anymore - Something im probably not going to worry about anyway - Im worth a lot lot more - being underpaid now for some years.

So back to me - I hope to be happy fairly soon. It will definately be nice to have some friends i have fun with again. MO, Jason and Random know me better then anyone else and have always (some much longer then others) Even Becky who ive known for a month or two seems to be a really really good mate - i mean picking me up from Croydon and taking me out for beers, then buying me more and some fags ! Its not every day you find those sorts of people.

So fuck you - you know who you are - It absolutely didnt happen - and by the way - some of you should be more worried about what you got upto - Especially one little man - You want to marry this girl ? What would she say if i "accidentially" let slip over a pint what you got upto huh !

Ok now i feel slightly better - Its 8.44am and i have work to do - flats to arrange to see - And bills i need to arrange to pay in full with next months wage packet.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Michael Jackson Joke #3

Michael Jackson Joke #3

I heard this the other day - I apologise to all fans of the Pope John II (RIP) and i dont apologise to any MJ fans - as if you still say you like MJ you have definately thought about it yourself - So here goes.

Did you know that 2 weeks ago in an interview Michael was heard swearing on the Popes life that hes never touched a child !

Yep thats it folks

Butlins here we come !

Butlins here we come !

Tomorrow is an all day National Sales Meeting - Beleive it or not i have to do a bloody presentation in front of 30 odd bad-boy salesguys with ALS - should be an absolute hoot - O did i say that i have to do it in my school uniform ! YES thats bloody right - So not only looking like a cock i have to withstand ribtickling all W/end from the Guys in Bognor Regis Butlins !

Now those guys in America wont know Butlins - Let me explain - Its the UK's version of Disneyland - If only without any rides or attractions - All the staff wear Redcoats and it basically sucks bigtime -Have a look at the lovely pictures of where me and 30 guys (and gals) are going !


Doesnt look too bad does it ! I mean theres bugger all to do there really - nothing that i wanna do anyway - and you have to pay for everything - which will be fun bearing in mind im almost brassik - So back to today - im tired and emotional - i need my bed again and some nice food - i will be off down the kebab later to solve that - its cheap and nasty but hey beggers cant be choosers right and im begging at the moment - To those buggers who owe me money by the way - I NEED IT BACK - i dont really wanna be chasing all day like a wanker i dont have the time - and when i call you and see how you are - Dont be offended if i ask you for it - I didnt lend you money so i could be skint - So when you get paid - Pay me !

Or i'll push you about ! hehe

Country visitors April

Country visitors for April

Was looking at the stats again this morning - having a look at googles search word info - i tell ya its funny how it can tell you who's looking at your blog - and i clicked on country visitors and this is what it brought up - Quite bloody remarkable - Welcome to my little world on the web !

A very apt cartoon

Avery apt cartoon this week !

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday

Yes MH you turned 33 ! ouch - and today i feel like saying ouch all day only pausing to catch my breath.

Anyway hope you have a good one !

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

I want one of these

I want one of these

Or rather i need one of these - MH will verify that!


This is pretty spectacular - just keep zooming in and out of this beautifully drawn and massive quilt ! - Really really brilliant - If you ever click just one link from someone else blog then this one is a must ! Posted by Hello

It all went very wrong

It all went very wrong

It wasnt me - thats all i have to say to myself this morning - I didnt go to the Rectory - We didnt meet Billie and Nope i didnt go to Loop sit there for 2 hours waiting for a table - and it definately wasnt me who was seen in Milan bar talking to what is probably the cutetest young lady ive ever met - shame she's engaged - she has my card.

Got home late 1am-ish to a darkened hallway - no noise - no clanging toilet seat at 2am - no annoying woops or cheering c/o that game they play in good ol' USofA (whats it called rounders or something! hehe) - it was bliss - No annoying lump of congealed margerine sitting on the tabaletop - waiting for me to feel sick at - lovely!

Best thing ive heard all week - MO's a cleanliness freak - hates mess - cant leave a spoon out of place - awesome - im a very very VERY happy young man (not that young i'm afraid) Being tidy is not one of my strongpoints - but being messy is downright disgusting and one of my current flatties best trates - When i say BEST i mean there are WORSE - like coughing constantly like you have a lung in your throat - and wearing greasy long uncut messy cock hair.

Feel dead beat - long day ahead - Chelski return to the UEFA Champions League match with Bayern Munich - 4-2 down after grabbing a late penalty (cheats) So again off down the pub - late night - anyone got a spare liver - mines done for!

Just a taste of where im moving to - all good - dont fuck with my pad - i'll tear your ears off.

Monday, April 11, 2005



erm check this out !

What office space character am i ?

What Office space character am i ?

This must be an dumb american program - but here' the outcome - made me laugh about doing 2 beatches ata time!! yo yo yo !

And on the subject of art!

And on the subject of art!

Yes and while i am here - here is the beautiful Blue Nude from Picasso - I have a copy of this printed on hardwood hanging on my living room door - loving it ! will travel with me wherever i go !

The art of painting

The art of painting

Saw a program on telly this weekend about Vermeer and how down right genius he was at painting and i have to say i agree - I'm not a great art fan but this painting screams genius to me - The girl in the painting is apparently depicted as Clio the goddess of history (or something) and the fact that the painter in the painting has only painted (puts teeth back in) the laurel on her head reinstates that. Also apparently there was a pin hole in the painting where he managed to get the prospective of the floor with a bit of string and some chalk - GENIUS ! . Also there are some oddities - ie look at the painter against the girl - If he stood up he'd be a giant! - Also the marble floor wasnt even heard of in Amsterdam at that time - it would have been to heavy for the 1st or 2nd floor and was only affordable by royalty at that time. Enough already - look at the painting !

What do you think ? im lovin it

Bloody brill weekend

Bloody brill weekend

Enough said ! - Friday was very long - In the Rectory until 7.30 with da boyz - very tired and KW turned up to work as i left - called SC and more or less 5 mins later i was in my comfort zone - playing Tiger Woods 2005 which by the way has just added £20 to my pocket ! thanks to his jammy win in Augustus (how did he do it huh !) - anyway Kev Tates reeling coz of that "who is he anyway" was his fleeting comment last week - well i have to say i agreed (in silence) well done Tiger - and hope your Pa gets better soon.

So anyway Woodsy's win aside - i spent all night Friday in front of the goggle box - albeit a 32" Sony Wega with surround sound - So Saturday i spent on my own in bed with 15" shitty telly and a pizza - Luvverly - Sunday woke early and called the cru - Popped to Randoms house as he needed supplies and then onwards to what i thought was the Rectory - but nooooo got picked up by Beccky and Mo and off to The Harrow in Warlingham in a convertable Peugeout 206cc - again Luvverly ! - Becky's a scream - shes so up 4 it and 29 which is nice ! all these young birds can **** off as far as im concerned - theres nothing better then a busted 29 YO girl whos got money and a brain - albeit my mates bird - but she clearly stated (in front of him) she has no strings - Great - not for MO tho - and not for me - i like strings - you know me !

So - sitting in the sun - looking at the scenery - and great scenery it was up there ! - and along came someone who i recognised - not a mate but someone famous - couldnt put my finger on it at first and then WHAM - yes i realised - It was Chris Coleman (manager of Fulham) - after much ribbing i decided to go over to him and greet him as Jose (Mourinho)

Not really! - like that would have been really silly of me - Instead i got my camera phone and got Becky to take our picture - And as soon as i get the stupid thing working i'll post the damn picture (fucking shit fone bastard twatting shite) *cough - sorry bout that - tourettes set in for a minute then. . .

Right so many wife beaters in the harrow then off to the Good Companions where we played pool and i saw Frank - of Camden days - Married with kids and clearly bored of his life ! never mind - left him alone as he was always bit of a nutter and then back to beckys to get smashed - Left there at 12 got home and spoke to MH - did some deep talking -0 wish i hadnt now and slept - Woke up this morning with a cry of "oh shit not again" when i realised it was only 7.10 i went back to my slumber for 30 mins - ! god if i was late it would have been curtains for me - ! Luckily i was on time and in good spirits - Probably because of my good weekend !

By the way what a awesome morning it is - weather is gorgeous and im feeling fine !

Friday, April 08, 2005

Guys have a look at my black book

Guys have a look at my black book!

Yes mate im talking to you - Anyone of you blokes out there with a grain of blood in your veins will be aching to see my black book ! yes its full of UK totty ready to say hello in full colour - NOT SAFE FOR WORK or young kiddies - (well if your 13 its ok i suppose !) Altenatively take a peek at Maxim's advert - its actually for some golf clubs - Again its NSFW but if your 13 its ok.

Ladies its all a bit of fun btw - its not rude or degrading - it's actually just "sex" thats what we do - well apart from me as im still single - but im hoping to crack that nutshell fairly soon . . *coughs loudly and looks over at ????? . . . (did i tell you i had a dream last night for hours about this girl - it was great !)

Thursday, April 07, 2005

My weekend / week so far

My weekend / week so far

I have been neglecting my blogging duties for a while - lazily i have just been posting news items and general glumph - So i thought id make a mense and blog you lot on whats been going on.

I had a fat row with my flatmate MH last week about Wednesday i think it was - I did write 2000 words on what happened (thru my eyes) but then i realized it wasnt fair - and if the police got involved it would be there in black and white for me to get a conviction - in essence he said "he was scared for his life" - I went a tad bezerk after he called me a chav and theif - not in that order - just both words at some point (and by the way - i am neither a theif and im only 68% chav according to a word doc test doing the rounds) - It was decided i should move out (phew) - Which is good - and within 1 or 2 months depending on circumstances - again thats just fine . . . so .

I have been out mostly getting legless and making waves with friends - getting back to where i left off somewhere last year when Noo and me finished - So i have a new flatmate in the shape of MO - hes a goodfella- far better sorted and fixed up then the current situation - we are bro's and dont mind lending 100 quid here or there as theres trust in the friendship - something that the last flattie refused to acknowledge - and needless to say i withdrew all niceties - you know - "heres a beer mate" - that sort of thing . . I dont want to leave on a negative but i feel that theres a deep-set problem within MH's mind and im not sure i can deal with the strain of being in that world - I can understand why he's like that - but i just dont have time in my life to deal with someone so highly strung and unorganized. . I wanted to move out last year whilst with SS and the plan was to escape in Feb this year - but hey that plan was doomed from the start. Never date a girl whos still married to a bloke she owned up to marrying to stay in the country! - I mean JESUS didnt the bells ring then ! (what a brainache i am!)

Have been on Findaproperty i have found loads of really nice places for less then i thought so theres a chance i'll be spending less to live then i am now - horah !

So - anyway Ryans Bar on Sunday night where Johnny knocked out some poor chav (with a punch that sounded like the sound barrier breaking) - the second noise was the dude flat out on the bar floor ! - that was hilarious - and then took a day off on Monday - got punished but then got some very good news as well . kinda like a Haribo sweet and sour candy - Yummee yet slightly off tasting !

So - im busy as fu*k this week - feeling upbeat about a new stretch of my life and looking for jobs as well - Mandy offered me a job last week whilst hanging out of her SLK55 AMG ! and i really should be getting round there to see her - be like old times - Spoke to Simon Harris - He's getting married to some Polish bit he must have met last year whilst working out there and Nick's seeing Katie ! WTF ! Paul "dockers" Dockrell is going to the isle of wight for good to run a pub . Great ! and i saw Nicola Martinelli in the rectory the other day - Was kinda weird all i saw was this very cutesy looking blonde girl pointing at me and calling me over to her - so i walked over and didnt recognise her at all ! blimey i was gobsmacked - my shes changed ! shes had a kid with ex Richard and is a single mum living somewher in Purley no doubt - Hope i bump into her again ! ! lol - o dont forget i said to say hello to Lorraine - whos still with Graham Orr and having a baby too - All i hear is "baby baby baby" - and iv'e had 3 abortions and one miscarriage (not me stoopid my other 'alf)

Seems im left behind - one of life's mishaps !

I think my ex's will vouch for that wont you ladies ! (feel feee to comment wont you)

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Humandescent !

Humandescent !

One very weird site full of weird pictures like the one above - Extremely good photoshopped images - some scary looking specimens as well - click on the damn image to see if you dare !

Bear tumbling

Bear Tumbling

Found this cutesey little website that lets you tumble over a load of teddy bears - then they get up and let you do it again . . I like it - So will you !

Click here to get to the site - Flash is needed

Nasty corporate name changing !

What do multinational corporations do once their dirty record gets around and people start seeing them for what they are?

They change their names, of course.

Philip Morris is leading the way.

What have they done in response to years of bad exposure for knowingly selling dangerous products? Decided to sell healthier products? Stopped marketing to and addicting kids?

No, they changed their name to Altria and picked a new logo, hoping that when people see Altria has made their food, they won't realize their money is going into the pockets of the same people who told us all that cigarettes are safe and nicotine is not addictive.

Recently, Philip Morris spent $250 million to gloss over their image. The campaign highlighted the company's charitable contributions and downplayed the deadly and addictive tobacco products that built the company. Well, luckily the people aren't that easily fooled. All that money spent and the Reputation Institute ranks Philip Morris second to last in public opinion. Rightly so, because tobacco still makes up 61.2% of the company's $90 billion income. (so who the hells last i say - mmm on a mission to find out)

In case you were wondering what Altria means: "Altria, as you know, means nothing, and can't be any derivative of altus [meaning 'high'] --altr-- is a nonexistent stem. But it sounds pretty good, doesn't it? And has no suggestion at all of emphysema or lung cancer," according to a Latin Professor quoted by

Yes, it seems Altria isn't synonymous with lung cancer and emphysema in people's minds the way Philip Morris is. But don't worry, to all of us who know what they've done, they'll always be Philip Morris. A reputation like their's can't be lost with a new name.

Who else is doing it?

According to Enterprise IG, 3,602 U.S. corporations adopted new names in 2001.

  • After a ValuJet plane crashed over the Florida Everglades in 1996, killing 110 people, the airline became AirTran Airways.

  • ChemLawn/Chemgreen, the nation's largest landscaping company, is becoming TruGreen LandCare.

  • Tricon Global Restaurants, owners of Taco Bell, KFC, and Pizza Hut is becoming Yum! Brands.

  • Binladin Telecommunications Group, a telecom equipment maker owned by Osama bin Laden's Saudi relatives is now Baud.

  • Agricultural Insecticide and Fungicide Association, a lobbying and trade association representing the nation's 78 pesticide manufacturers will hide behind the friendlier CropLife America.

  • Benton Oil and Gas Company, who drill for oil and gas in Russia and Venezuela, will be Harvest Natural Resources.

  • Nuclear Engineering, who dispose of toxic and radioactive waste, will distance themselves from the bad record of anything nuclear, with the name US Ecology. Yes, US Ecology will bury the toxic waste near your house now.

mmmm the next one needed a change !

  • HomeShark, an online mortgage and real estate listings provider, is now the more empowering iOwn.

  • Dun & Bradstreet asked to be known as D&B, although it retained the full name officially.

  • Peptide Pharmaceuticals switched to Novar.

  • PricewaterhouseCoopers, became Monday, yes Monday.

  • Andersen Consulting renamed itself Accenture.

  • Monsanto Specialty Chemicals, a spin-off of Monsanto, who is destroying the entire planet, is now Solutia.

And word is that Enron is looking for a new name. Imagine: after screwing millions of people out of billions of dollars, they are looking for a new name.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

RIP Pope John the Great

RIP Pope John the Great

Just a note to say fairwell to probably the greatest man this century - May we all look in the mirror and see if we can share some of his courage and good will to help other men.

Whats in a ringtone?

Do tones reflect character?

Do tones reflect character?

The ring on your mobile phone could speak volumes about the type of person you are, according to a new survey. Research has been carried out into the different mobile rings and what each one represents. Women should be wary of any man that has rude or animal sounds emanating from his phone - especially the popular Crazy Frog - as it shows the man to be little more than a boy.

Those fashionistas who have the latest charts hit as their personalised tone may believe they are always in vogue but such constant changing indicates an unreliable character.

People who opt for the old fashioned ring tone think they are ever so high-brow but may end up coming across as pretentious. Ageing rockers are not left out of the study, unimpressed with the latest tunes, they will opt for polyphonic versions of My Generation and More Than a Feeling. If a mobile user has recordings of them or their partner or child, the survey suggests they be more than a little self-obsessed.

On the other hand, the standard tones could mean a lack of daring or even an aversion to technology. (shit thats me then my phone just rings and then a women shrills out "hellooooo" - its one of the standard Samsung E700 tones)

The research, carried out by Tesco Mobile, showed that 21% of those questioned thought having a standard ringtone was "uncool". Of the 1,000 people surveyed, 25% said the first thing they did on acquiring a new phone was to personalise the ring tone. But for 66%, they had got so annoyed with someone else's choice of mobile tone that they had either switched off the phone or asked the owner to do so.

Damn right - It got so bad in the office that th MD changed everyones work mobile to sing out the Nokia choon .. Now nobody hasd a clue whos phones ringing - Great idea that boss ! hehhe

Google to start Vlogging

Google to start ' Video blogging '

Google toolbar
Google said personal video clips could be saved on its servers
Search engine firm Google is to begin an experiment in "video blogging", according to co-founder Larry Page.

Mr Page told a conference in San Francisco that the company would be archiving people's video clips, starting in the next few days.

This seems all very exciting - but im guessing that we will be unindated with porn again from all these sex spamming bastards that we have already had enough of already.

Personally i think it could be good - as long as it is policed in a good way that keeps the smut off everyday blogs - Do you know what i mean ? I dont need to be looking at breast's all day long - I see enough of that in my mad sex dreams ive been having - Which reminds me - How come in my dreams all the women i meet are absolutely gorgeous ? I mean it seems to me that i have a deep drawn problem - Why cant i find a normal down to earth girl that will love me for who i am ? Huh why ?

Anyway - My weekends story will be up soon - just let me get on with my day !

Friday, April 01, 2005

Celebrating Payday

Celebrating payday

Went into town - Met Mo with Sam and Emma (sams cousin whos smashing btw) - did beer and shots - Folly - Tiger Tiger, Yates (saw Barrie and mate) then Milan bar - Saw Louise - spent hours waffling about stuff - met all her friends - laughed all night at a girl who all in all was pretty gorgeous - but she knew it - she had loads of cellulite on the back of her legs bless ! ~ heheh ~ Left there - Met Becky - didnt get into Escapade - i tripped and the doorman thought i was pissed - I was in fairness - abit messy actually - Got a massive chicken sandwich from south end kebab - eat it - yum - slept like a baby

Good enough night for ya ?

Feeling a bit retarded this morning - drinking lots of water - the headaches seem to have calmed down - excellent - still going to docs later - check mole on chest out