Monday, February 28, 2005

Chavtastic !

O My O MY Tony looking CHAVTASTIC - Well done you have won CHAV of the WEEK award ! Posted by Hello

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Richard Ashcroft revisited

Into the brave new world
I hope I see you on the other side
Of this changing world

Baby when my ship pulls in
I try to believe in anyone
Look at the state I’m in.

But for now
I’m just sitting at the table
Hearing songs
Wishing I was able, stable
Nah nah nah nah nah x 3
I hope I see you on the other side x 2

Brother don’t try to find
Don’t try to believe in anyone
For I would change your mind

Baby when my ship pulls in
I try to believe in anyone
Look at the state I’m in, I’m fine

But for now
I’m just sitting at the table
Hearing songs
Wishing I was able, stable
Nah nah nah nah nah x 6
I hope I see you on the other side x6

But for now
I’m just sitting at the table
Hearing songs
Wishing I was able, stable
Brave new world x 3
Nah nah nah nah nah x 6
I hope I see you on the other side x6


My god-damn weekend

Well its Sunday nite im on MH's nw lappy (which i supplied) oh spellings out i think . So sent a text to SS and AC .. guess what ... yea no reply . . d

guess im having to think forward now ...

would have been nice if MH and Zoe asked me out ... guess im not included . . . hey why would i be ? I know u read this MH .................. try this

when u were single ........ i took u everywhere i went ....... i have pictures to proove ... do i have measles ?

doesnt matter

i have a few mates .... most shun me now .. they r SS's mates too

going to log on to MSN ...

no-ones on

shall i take . . . . . . . . .

cant be assed tonite

tell u what i listen to RUN by SNOW PATROL some more

Friday, February 25, 2005


Keanes tune - Listen to the words - thats me that is - Funny that Anouska said 2 weeks after we split that it was my tune - she said she had listened to it over and over again - Then i never spoke to her since - hey wheres the razors ..................

Read if you wanna be depressed

What have i got to do to make you want me ?

What have i got to do - to be heard ?

What do i do - when its all over ?

Sorry seems to be the hardest word......

Well there you have it - my mood has officially hit a record low - Even my director RS was a little worried when i couldnt laugh at one of his incredibly crap jokes - Even JO's asking me nicely whats up - I cant really say world - Im just so lonely - Seems that whatever i had before , i mean whatever the world saw in me before christmas dissapeared, maybe never to be seen again - I just dont know what to do - I get lonely at work - lonely at home - i dream dreams that have me on my own in wide open spaces - i feel so empty - i feel cold - i well up at work - i shed tears at home playing the XBOX dammit - You may think a 32 year old man crying is pathetic - in some ways it is - Yes im a child inside - so kick me - whatever do what you like - theres only so much misery i can take this fucking year - Why am i a sad magnet . .

To those of you who come here to read my life - trust me i need some support right now - I have been feeling pretty low for a long time now and i think i may need some sort of counselling - I miss someone very very much and i cant stop wanting to know how she is - it drives me crazy - i dream of her - and i think about her every bloody day - i suppose posting pictures of her here doesnt help - maybe the picture i have of her at home should be "archived" again - Maybe this is just a dip in form - i cant remember being so shit at chatting to women - I have no confidence in myself at all - at work, my sales are shit - NO-body rings me to go out - the only fun i get is to go clubbing with Random - and if i didnt have that i think i would be history by now....

So SS finally made an effort and called about the disc - i beleive she will find it and get it back to MH - I hope he understands i cant go and meet her to get it - hopefully she might get my chain back too .. o god welling up again ... had enough now - i think u get the jist of things .....

Maybe its time to pull my socks up again and roll that dice - cheer up Sy - hugging urself does help a little - even if it is pathetic i dont care .. its all i have

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Never let it go

Cant beleive its still being hosted on Bulldrive !! An old website of mine is working and so is the link to a choon i made years ago - I sampled the vocal obviously - but the rest of it is original ... Have a listen !

Chavtastic !  Posted by Hello

Weirdest text - EVER

Rowena's acting a little weird - In fact very weirdly - but somehow i dont bloody blame her - I woke up in her sisters bed for gods sake ! Jesus - So anyway 10.54 pm two night ago i got this text from her

"Life a funny thing snowing like this weather"

What the fuck are you on ? Help is needed to decipher this girls text - ! needless to say i havent replied - Too weird

Feel like dogpants this morning been at it all week - bit too much - Had a meeting this morning re sorting email mailer thing - Was good - money well spent in my book - except i felt like a gibbering wreck all morning - not a nice sight - ! - trying to get some work done this afternoon - sleep is all i want - Will stay in bed all night watch TV - zzz

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

An actual customer complaint !

This is the sort of call i get from my damned customers - Imagine this and if you can put on an old womans voice whilst reading aloud

"Hello is Simon there pleeese" - "yes thats me how can i help you" - "my printer seems to have broken can you come and repair it please i have a church newsletter i need to print for this weeks get together" ----deep breate and a pause and i replied --- " Yes ok madam but before i do that can i ask you take the toner out of the machine - shake it and replace - You may find its only a toner problem" - "ok Simon i'll do that - hold on one minute"

2 minutes pass and an almighty scream is heard from my phone

"Simon - i need your help theres a mouse in my printer" - "*im laughing - no seriously Madam there cannot be a mouse in your printer they are a very hot place to be and it wouldnt last 1 minute" --- The old lady then paused and explained that she could proove it with a photo......

I couldnt beleive what she managed to email me - Tell me if you find this fooking hilarious!

Posted by Hello

No way - Im doomed then !

Yes i blatantly stole this off someone else - but i like it so there !

Played to death

Apologies to my good friend MH for completely abusing the Snow Patrol album for the last few days - couldnt be helped - but now im sick of it too - Luckily ive lent it to Nina - She might lik eit but bearing in mind she likes R&B theres a chance she'll hate it ! but anyway heres a plug for them - (dedicated to AC - hope you are well x)

Snow Patrol - Run

To think I might not see those eyes,
Makes it so hard not to cry.
And as we say our long goodbye,
I nearly do.

Light up, light up,
As if you have a choice.
Even if you cannot hear, my voice,
I'll be right beside you, dear.

Louder, louder,
And we'll run for our lives.
I can hardly speak or understand,
Why you can't raise your voice to say.

Yep missin this girly a lot --- Maybe i'll meet someone else as brill as her - im one sad monkee - Hey they do say theres plenty more fish in the sea - lets hope so ! Posted by Hello

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

The girl i miss more then anyone on this planet xx :'( aw Posted by Hello

Magic ! A foto of me from last summer - not long after meeting SS - and in fact i was in Andreas back garden after MH was seen cavorting with a rubber ball - I cant wait for the summer to come i look so much healthier with a tan - mayb e thats my problem - RIGHT off to the tanning shop ! Posted by Hello

Holy shit - Head meets car !

OMG - im a great fan of random .wmv's and video on the net and i know that there are sites dedicated to it - but since im at work and we get "monitored" i dont frequent as much - but i picked this gem off the net thanks to "i have a crazy wife" and its proper priceless - The story is - Yankee guys in a car open the back door of a car (at speed) to knock some dude off his bike - Problem is the dude falls out of the car and connects with a staionary one - YES OUCH !

Strange search terms (via my webcounter)

It's quite intriguing to see what my fellow internet enthusiasts type into google - I took a leaf out of Skinmeisters blog and decided to list some great search terms that got people to my blog - so here they are !

1. What is a bastard ? (well that refers to a previous entry and incorporates a piccy - Q funny !)

2. Women pulls off mans testicle ! ( again refers to an earlier post about some loon who tied her ex to a fence a whipped his bollock off)

3. Welsh bastard boyfriends (why on earth ! i mean why the Welsh ? are they all bastards ?)

4. Spelling-Taboot (yes you got it right ! i think hehe)

5. tales of the unexpected tab free (whats the tab free all about huh ? answers on a postcard please)

So thats it im afraid - i'll list more if they come in good !

for now - ciao monkees

girl on left is shocked bloke in middle very much in pain - girl on the right strangely enjoying the experience - mmm reminds me of someone i used to go out with ..... heehhehe Posted by Hello

Obligitory piccy of the snow that landed last night in "sunny Croydon" - it rumoured that we are to have more towards the end of the day - We shall see - Went out last night at 11.30pm and walked round the block - snow makes everything sooo peaceful - i love it! Posted by Hello

Monday, February 21, 2005

O my ...... im moving to Maidstone

Yum - all the way from Maidstone

Friday nights blind-meet !

I hadnt felt so nervous - not for a long time - I was travelling to Wimbledon to meet Rowena - the tram was packed and i was almost terrified about what i was doing - This is the strange bit - not so long ago and i mean a few years - i loved doing shit like this - but since Xmas my mojo beens strangley none existant - i dont feel the same - i have very little self beleif nowerdays - I used to oooze self-confidence - hence the many beautiful ladies that have travelled in and out my life - only to carry on their journey - and mostly get married to the next fella - OUCH ;(

So back to the tram - I was shaking a little - but also a little excited - Was she going to be ugly and fat - or coloured or actually a high pitched voiced bloke - I had no idea - My engineer that delivered the copier (she's a customer you see!) gave me no incling what she was like ! Even when i asked "would ya?" He said No ! - So you see i had visions of her being a minger....

At the station - she called - "Are you there yet!" -- "yes im at the top of platform 4/5 - im waiting for you " - "i'll be a few minutes she said" - So again i started worrying - in my mind i refused to beleive that she was fugly - (fucking ugly) and actually i didnt care - altho it may read that i do - i couldnt of cared less - Rowena earlier in the week had asked wtf was going on with SS since i hadnt seen her that weekend - as she had asked how she was - "we broke up before xmas" i told her - hence she was dumbfounded by the 2 min story on what transpired over last xmas - Bless her! Rowena said - "you have to come out and meet me and my pals up town - i'll send you the email" She did and hence i was meeting her. . .

So - the tension was growing - lots of people were walking pass me as i stood there like a plum waiting for the inevitable "watcha" -

1 minute passed ~ and then 2 minutes passed ~ the longest and scariest 2 mins of my life this year !

"Hello" said a voice i recognised (husky and with a tint of Aussie) Arms flailing out asking for a massive cuddle - It was her - She was gorgeous - 5"5 with short redish hair wearing a fluffy dark hooded long jacket black slacks and the standard girly pixie toed high heel boots - I was happy... Thank god !

Long long story short - We had a laugh getting there - walked down Oxford Street the wrong bloody way for 20 mins and then the right way for half an hour - Got to the Loopbar - Met all her friends and sisters - boyfriends etc etc - and chatted away to some bloke called James and Anthony for hours while Rowena flitted about - She can talk - never have i met someone who talks soo much ! quite brilliant ! So the dancefloor opens and thats all history - met some amazing chick wearing frankly the most beautiful clothes ive ever seen ! needless to say i wasnt getting her number !

So - end of the night - RD insisted i go back to their house and carry on "the party" whcih we did - I wanted to get a cab - after all i wasnt sitting easily with her boyfriend being there - and i know what im like after a few beers - ! i wanted out - Insisted again that i stayed in the spare room - I did - BUT and listen to this for weirdness ! I woke up in her sisters bed ! YEP her sisters bed - I must have gone to the loo at some point in the night - and sleptwalked to her bed - needless to say i got my clothes and headed off to the bus-stop - Extremely embarrassed - I obviously sent a text to her - telling her about the pho-pas - Didnt get one back

1 fun evening - 1 lost customer and not a hope of seeing her again i imagine

Great .....

Friday, February 18, 2005

Hubble telescope doomed

WTF are Nasa thinking about - get rid of the Hubble coz its getting old ? So what if it costs £60 trillion to fix - do it - I mean we cant even think up images like the one below - Its just so damn amazing that universe out there - Click the big pic for the Hubble page - Its brill !

Corporate lesson (read it and learn!)

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel,"

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.

"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.



OK so im off to Loopbar West one tonight with Rowena and gang (eeek) beers bloody £3.30 a bottle !!!

Tell you about it Monday monkees

Thursday, February 17, 2005

One of my old squeezes from whan i was -- blimey 16 - and of course my main monkee random. Posted for posterity - ! Posted by Hello

Hey had to post this - All my old monkee mates from school - back left to right - Gary then Dave and Pete and my main monkee in the front Random ..... Must get a meet on actually --- hmm off to get Petes number the old fart ..... Posted by Hello

Was not well - did you miss me ?

Guess not - no fucker ever misses me - apart from when im off work of course and then i get 40 odd calls from customers and work - Jesus !

Cant remember the last time my phone rang from a friend - No really i cant - is that a good or bad thing - i mean i remember when i was 26ish my poor old mercury never stopped bloody ringing - i even gave up the mobile and went to a pager coz it was that bad - but hey im 32 and i have seemed to have lost that all important "whatever it is" that makes us popular ... sod it

Feeling a little better today - not coughing anymore and my poor tummys got back to normal - ie its not grumbling at me constantly anymore - been suffering since 20th December - however ive lost the best part of 2 stone - which in my book is awesome - even if it means i need more vitamins and should be eating vegetables - ew

So - just closed 2 deals - my target is looking massively acheivable again if i can just knuckle down and do those calls - Need to speak to Rowena about Friday - All good - May go and see JO and his missus on Saturday - Or actually i may not - May go to BarRhumba again. We'll see ..

Have a good one monkees and MH GET THOSE DEALS FELLA !!!! 40% remember ! (u prick)


Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Haha - mystery girl turns up on DSI . .

Yea - weird one this - I was downstairs in Infinity and this lady on the left started talking to me - Very nice she was as well - Got on like a house on fire but her fella - As pictured turned up and stood about dancin' - Now as i was a little flea'd up i cant't remember tooooo much - but it went like this - "hello whats ur name" (her) - "Simon nice to meet you" (me of course) " Well you seem nice what are you doing later" "going home i think" (i replied) - "want to come back to mine?" (i gasped) "really - yea thats seems cool" - Started random chatting and then her fella turned up - I dunno - call it black Feb or something !

TOTU Moods

I thought i'd be a little creative - since i have no-one to benefit from my creative-ness - Im going to create a new "tales of the Unexpected" mood piccy - drawn by my own hand - whenever i feel my general mood - or outlook - change.... So today i have uploaded the first - But it takes a while to change the profile piccy - which is ok - it justt means my currect mood could be inbetween what you see today and what ytou see tomorrow - Plus i can get creative and have fun with drawing - which i also love to do....

Hope you like em ...

Wonderful night on my own . .

Well it was - sort of - Watched National Treasure - which actually was damned good - Went to the local chinese got myself some Special fried rice with chicken and some yummee Chicken Satay on skewers - (as a little Valentines pressie for myself) - sat down saw Emmerdale and put film on - Like i said it was pretty good - 8.5/10 - Cage as usual was cool - and Sean Bean was always a great baddie - and in this film he looks BAaaad - whoever the girly in it was she was lovely - I'll look her up in a bit ..... hmmm Diane Kruger (never heard of her) but heres her photo (click for full shes mmm tasty)
So anyway after that watch some other crap - it was so crap i cant remember it - Zoe and MH had a valentines bath together i think ..... so instead of washing my teeth i went and hid in my bedroom (wasnt going to go down well if i barged in would it ) so off to bed i went - Watched the 2 opening "joeys" on five - which were .... well ok ... sent a text wishing someone happy Valentines - Needless to say i was ignored - Actually i am the unluckiest man alive this Feb 14th - Sent 2 cards both of which i shouldnt have and sent a text that was ignored - probably busy with the latest "ive never met anyone like you before" . . . And i know im right . . . Why on earth do i do it ?

Sort it out Simon - I mean your a really nice bloke who's good willed and general an all round good egg - and for some reason - just occasionally - i look back on my past and try to rake some of it back into the present - I dont ask for much - In fact nothing from anyone - I cant remember the last time someone did something for me - made me feel - dammit LOVED !

Seems at the moment im destined for a cozy life of me, me and some more me - Guess i'll get to know ME better - Maybe even i might like me a bit more - I never fell out with me - but it seems everyone else did - Maybe its time to move on - Make a "Joey" find another town - another "inner circle" seems the one i have isnt as good for me as i'd hoped - Altho i feel cozy its not making me happy - I feel dead alone - If i'm gonna feel alone at least do it so i make new friends - meet new people - At the mo my life isnt evolving - its just circling - O god see - it's the reason why i fall in love and i trust all myself to that person - My life is shite - I used to have sooo many different friends - Friends who called me up and asked me out to play - You know " hey Sy what ya doing tonight - come for a beer - come a mix - come and watch this film" - What does my life have now - An endless supply of emptiness on someone elses couch watching pirate films and feeling well - like im interupting their lives.....

Time to make some life changing moves - Today im starting with *rolls the dice .............

You'll have to wait for that .

Monday, February 14, 2005

Yup it's today !

Valentines day - I wasnt so bothered for the first time EVER that i didnt have a girl this year - But now its like 16.54 and everyone at work is getting there pressies out and talking about what THEY are doing - Some of 'em seem so actually in love - Like i was i suppose - i must remember to take in these times - now that im single - so that when i have a gilr and i want out coz shes driving me nuts - i can remember how bad it is to be "birdless"

Is it such a problem ? MH and Zoe are going out later to a Seafood bar somewhere which is fine - But hey guess what - i get to spend all evening on my own - in front of my Telly watching a dvd and / or playing my new game i got delivered today - So is life that crap ? JO showed me a piccy of his new bird - She seems - (it was blurred) very very nice - Shame that i blew them out on Saturday - Im sure she has some fine friends - Yes imagine if my pals were all drop out mingers ? And i had no one to latch onto to get a bird from - OUUUCH - Well hardly but sharing the company of such woman as T and Vicky on friday was nice - Kinda reqrding in a 3rd person miles away sort of way - *cough - and where did Vicky go ? Back with Jase i imagine .....

So today was a massive struggle - My body complained all day of massive abuse - My head was dieing and my lungs spluttered ALL day - Not a weekend to be proud of - My pops called today as well seing if i was still up for linking - Said no as i knew i was mullered again from the weekend - SHIT news just in. . .

Ive been collared on the Valentines card ! Yes she found out by asking KT who it was that went to Moonpig ! Bollocks - Id hope she'd never find out - i was feeling pretty silly after sending it anyway - But hey at least it wasnt a waste ! (im feeling very silly now) As shes engaged and obvouisly dead happy with fella - hmm ok - time to feel very very red and dissapear into the background - o its flattering isnt it !

A great piccy from Friday - I like it as its really ambient with the picture being lit from behind - cool huh ? Posted by Hello

Vicky - Spacey-T and Jase from Saturday - the beer in Jase's hand was called "le Coq" by the way - a fucking odd names beer if ever ive heard one - tasted ok tho -  Posted by Hello

My absolutely fucking gorgeous K-Swiss that i bought for meself on Saturday - Got a jumpy and a hoody top - (without the hood) as well - fucking funny actually sat night went out with Jase and Matt to Bar-Rhumba in Kennington and they both had the same on as well ! we looked a right pair K-Swiss freeks - anyway - quality shoe clean up real good as well apparently. Posted by Hello

Why do i torture my body so much !

Torture is a word normally associated with kidnapping and/or interigation - In my case its having to much fun on the weekend and thinking that im still a youngster whose bod is up for this kind of abuse. Im clearly not as my body this morning is in a word - Kaput - Its an ex body - its had enough and drawn a line in the sand and said "do not cross" So the next few days i will be convelessing on my past weekend and putting measures in place to stop me killing myself early on in my life - It wasnt even drug infused - Just flat out raving from Fridays word "go" to sunday mornings "end"

Friday, February 11, 2005

All arranged and ready to go

Meeing Tracy and Vicky at T's house - cabbing it upto Infinity and meeting DM Jase and Lofty (i imagine) up there - Amy and her new bloke Lee will be there so it could be a tense first few minutes - But its all good i suppose - Be fun at least ...

O and im spotting tonight as well i think - Not sure yet - havent got any cards to give out so i'll keep it local i think - anyway im still a relative newbie again arnt i !

DM and Lofty are b2b from 9-12 so i'll be busy drinking till 12ish when the "posing" begins ! waheee

See you on Monday monkees with pictures taboot

Completely knackered

Yep today im am so tired i feel like i have been hit by a bloody bus - my eyes are heavy, body aches and my concentration is bollocks. Speaking to people today is like, well torture and all i want to do is snuggle down in my bed - Feeling a bit sorry for myself i suppose - the lonliness of being single is starting to set in - Yet im just not keen to get involved with anyone at all - but i could do with someone close to give me a reason to be jolly about life - it all seems a bit droll at the mo....

Im supposed to be off to Limbic tonight with DM and cru - but again at the mo im feeling like uit could be a headache - im sure by 6.00pm tonight i'll be well up for it -

Cup of tea please TE - Yeeeesss !that should wake my sorry as up ! And on a brighter note im thinking of stocking up on some of these great cards for next year !

Wohooo i won something !

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Woman pulls off ex-boyfriends testicle and trys to eat it !

Now - im afraid somethings i usually would only associate happening in the USA - but this really takes the biscuit ! Does this mean us Brits are becoming more and more Yankee every day ? Read on monkees !

Woman jailed for testicle attack

A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard.

She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: "That's yours."

Monti admitted wounding and was jailed for two-and-a-half years.

'Pulled hard'

Sentencing Monti, Judge Charles James said it was "a very serious injury" and that Monti was not acting in self defence.

The court heard that Mr Jones had ended his long-term but "open relationship" with Monti towards the end of May last year.

The pair remained on good terms and on 30 May she picked him up from a party in Crosby and went back for drinks with friends at Mr Jones's house.

An argument ensued and Mr Jones said there was a struggle between them.

In his statement, Mr Jones said she grabbed his genitals and "pulled hard"

He added: "That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain."

The court heard that a friend saw Monti put Mr Jones's testicle into her mouth and try to swallow it.

She choked and spat it back into her hand before the friend grabbed it and gave it back to Mr Jones. Doctors were unable to re-attach the organ.

In a letter to the court, Monti said she was sorry for what she had done.

She said: "It was never my intention to cause harm to Geoff and the fact that I have caused him injury will live with me forever. I am in no way a violent person."

The letter added: "I have challenged myself to explain what has happened but still I just cannot remember. This has caused much anguish to me and will do for the rest of my life."

" I am in no way a violent person"

Amanda Monti

I thought Charles was gay (isn't he?)

Im confused - All rthe papers, pundits, comedians and general TV people (in the UK) all speculate with reason that our future King Charles, father of William and Harry, ex-husband to the late Queen of Hearts, is as gay as Graham Norton. (and he is fucking queer as fuck)

Now - there have been numerous ex-butlers and servants, clothiers, suiters and bumlords that have come "out of the closet" (no pun intended) and given the papers (the tabloids) the lowdown on our future King. For whatever reason they have speculated for years that he is as camp as a sheet with pegs and a pole otherwise known as a "tent"

hmmm...... ok so this morning after watching England draw with Holland 0-0 (fucking hell how boring) My BBC ticker news reader that i suggest you all get immediately - told me that Charles is to marry Camilla ...... WHAT ! I mean thats not right ~ or is it ?

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Some interesting work associated news .... (wow!)

Just came to my attention that Miss. Carly Fiorina resigned as Cheif Executive & Chairman of the super national Hewlett Packard - They have been struggling since the 2002 merger with Compaq - which actually has been a well received blessing for the printer / MFC market (that i trade in of course) - It seems that shares have dived from $70 - around $20 since that 2001/2 merger - Robert Wayman the Cheif Financial Officer has taken over for an interim period until the board vote in an identically inadequate Cheif .. So hurrah lets all pray that HP continue to struggle with their twinned idiot Compaq - When was the last time you saw anything Compaq in the office ?

hmmm a tough one isnt it !

Who'll be my valentine ?

Just had a thought - and it hurt my head - apparently it's Valentines Day again on Monday - O god - well it is a blessing that i am single this year (for the first time in 16 years!) and dont have to go and spend oodles of cash on just one night making ya woman feel special - Last year was with the lovely Anouska - (second piccy here) damn i do miss her - I fucked that up big time - although i was so unhappy in the relationship - we lived 20 miles from eachother and she was a lot younger - She loved me to peices and gave me 100 trillion chances to show that i was a real man and worth settling down with - Shame - I think of her every day still - She doesnt - i dont blame her - i did the same thing to her that i did to SS - I let the dogs off the leash and said stuff i regret - stuff i didnt even mean . . stuff that wasnt even true even ! (what a twot)

So this year I have a secret valentine - Im really excited (silly i know!) - She has no idea i fancy her - I have an inkling that she may like me - wont go into why i think that - it's my intuition - So anyway im off to Moonpig to get my secret card done .... shall i put a secret name only she would know ? - Im not sure i should - She is, by the way, taken - and on top of that i think she is happy with the bloke although i have NEVER heard her say a word about him - Hmmmm

So all you relationship monkees out there best get spending on that nice meal or flowers and chocs and jewelry etc etc - Im spending £3.50 on a card !

Muhahha ha haha hahaha

Blog redesign

Yep ive had enough - i realised that IE users see my blog badly - It loads awful - So in 14 days approx i have paid for a WEBDIVA (Cherry) to redesign my blog - It seems a great idea as i blog erm let me think sometimes 5 times a day - so making it look pleasing to my eye and my other faithful readers absolutely essential . It will look simular only with added depth and style (I hope) !

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

New TV ordered

Yep - got bored of my old 28" freeview Sony so i went and got an upgrade - have to wait 10 days for delivery as they are clean out of stock but that doesnt bother me really - gives me something to look forward to later in the month - Its a 32" up to date version of my old one - Why ive gone for a bigger telly i dont know but hey im a gamer so it will only give me greater game depth and clarity - i was going to go for the home cinema extra package at £20 a month extra but since my neighbour upstairs has ears like an elephant i thought id pass on that - so here is the beast in all its glory :)

Congrats Dame Ellen !

Fantastic ! The Brits once again proove the waves are our domain and we are not to be messed with ! Young 20 year old Ellen MacArthur beat the old record set by frenchMAN Francis Joyon by over a day - and yes shes a woman ! So hats off to you young lady - you deserve your honour and a good sleep on terra firma :) !

DSI fun from Saturday

Random got his photos up - and being the most unphotogenic bloke in the world really isnt much fun - but anyway heres one to brighten your day - this was taken about 4am in the morning in the smalll room at copyright - Spacey-T and Lofty (and me) enjoying a little sit down-ski -

Monday, February 07, 2005

A weekend to remember (i think!)

Boy o boy - today i am feeling a bit spangled - For you monkees that dont understand that means wasted ... Friday night started off with a few pints in the Gypo followed with a couple of bottles of stella with my good pal monkee Randon - Picked up some stuff and went off home where i stayed up all night playing bloody Links - 6am in the morn i decided i was dieing to sleep (but couldnt) so i went for a walk around my block - bought some fags and went home where i carried on like a fool !

Saturday was supposed to be in Brighton on the "quarterly club" but guess what - coz i was so tired i blew it out - 4pm sat woke up and felt like dogshite - the elec had tripped off due to the pikeys upstairs AGAIN ! went up there and broke into the flat with MH and turned the stop cock off as hard as i could - with a view to them not being strong enough to turn on again (I HOPE!)

So anyway went off to Bar R for a pint whilst the water dried off - went home after 2 pints and seeing Wales win over England - and found it wasnt dry enough to turn on again - So got my shit together and asked random if i could get ready there - which i did - slept for an hour at his and went to tracy's to get cab up town !

Met Sarah, Tracy and Paula (lovely) and got the 5 man cab up to Tower Bridge where Copyright was - It was a night hosted by "Show" - The rumour was that we were going to go on to Absolution after and then Sundazed ! i was bloody dreading that but as it happened we didint - Anyway top top night - Paula is an absolute scream ! she looked after me a little in there as i was a little messed up from the night before - Bumped into Ella strangley ! she said "what the hell are you doing in here" i replied "what the fuck are you in here for" and talked for a bit - shes split with her beating boyfriend thankfully ! Quite funny i asked her out months ago when i was last single - never transpired !

So anyway - was a top night and we went back to tracys for more of Friday nights shennanigens - Felt whacked out - Paula was funny - she had only had 2 drinks and 2 lines and was off her face - Walked home and got some beer on the way - Landlord was due round at 11am so i had to go out - So anyway at 10.30am he got there early and i had to jump out of matts room window - was fucking funny actually - walked round Croydon and eventually went back half hour later - got bored and called ST - she picked me up from Mitcham Junction and went back to hers - Met Reece - whos a good laugh and well sweet ! - Mett some weird fella called Matt while she was at her mums getting dinner ! Hed just spent 3 month in a mental home --- needless to say he wasnt prepared for me after i called him a fruitcake after he had told me a weird story - Maybe i shouldnt have but hey - i talk the truth and thats that - He needs a job and then he will be fine i am sure !

So this morning i woke up at 3am on ST's couch ! covered in a duvet - got cab to work and here i am - great weekend

i'll be in a better mood tomoirrow so catch you then u fools !

Friday, February 04, 2005

What is a bastard exactly ?

Quite often i ask myself "What exactly constitutes a bastard "

I can wax philosophical with metapysical postulations, incomplete aphorisms, and inconsistant sophisms that can make one more and more sure that the only true thing is that a picture can speak a thousand words.....

In the following photo, the guy on the right is a member of a bomb squad in the middle of deactivating a bomb

The other my friends,well, hes a bastard

Reason why i have a love hate relationship with the BBC

Normally i love my little bbc news ticker at the bottom of my screen but this morning after last nights tank of beer im feeling a little queezy after reading 2 halfway interesting snippets of news.

The first being "Mermaid girl to have legs split " Not really the nicest headline and it drums up all sorts of tangents in my head so naturally i click and read - Now this story is bloody amazing - A girl in Peru was born with the "mermaid or sirenomelia" syndrome meaning her legs , when born, are glued together by skin - She going into an operation soon to split the legs and thus be able to walk and not swim like a dolphin (shame really) see picture its kinda oddly fascinating.

The second being that "Alchohol is as harmful as Smoking" What the fuck - so when you go to the pub have a beer and some fags your basically killing yourself quicker then you would be just having a fag or a beer on its own ? So.... Can one increase the speed of your death that easily? - Now this impresses me because where there is YING there is YANG - so somehow you can prolong your life just as quickly - But is this giving up ? or something else - Answers on a postcard please monkee's - And while your there tell me why all the things in life that incorporate having fun are bloody bad for you - Such as Smoking, Alchohol, Drugs, Speeding, Women and Porn - Great and lets list things that are good for you and when you read them ask yourself "Do you like any of them" ok here goes Jogging, Cabbage, Cod liver oil, Going to bed early, Alan Titchmarsh ........... see my point exactly - have fun die young . . .

Thursday, February 03, 2005