Monday, January 31, 2005

Two days that felt like ten . . .

Im a bit under the weather today people im afraid - I went out late Friday night to meet DM and it was a little chilly and i think i must have managed to forget to wrap up damn warm because on Sat morning i woke up shivering and feeling like i had a dose of flu - not bloody nice at all - needless to say MH and Zoe were looking after Ben so i stayed in my pit and watched footy - ST called to take me out but i had to cancel - think she was a little miffed - wondering if she may have the message now - Im really not up for any sort of relationship - even a friendly one (with a girl) i just dont trust the species right now. So anyway didnt eat just drank fluids until sunday morning when i felt twice as bad - MH gave me a couple of 60mg coedines - that was it - knocked my flu right off my bones - took a couple more 30mg co-codamols whilst watchin "Once upon a time in America" and i felt just fine.

So payday today - lots to sort - If SS doesnt send my chain this week im really not sure what i should do - Is she really that USELESS that she cant put something in the post - Its bad enough that her own colleagues think shes useless (yes - its been said thru the grapevine as my co. supply hers !) But now im thinking she is too - as said before she can never order food and get it right ! (o that always made me laugh)

So - its just a chain is it ? - NO - Hanna gave it to me - A friend of 13 years - and it has great value to me so i want it back - Anyway im guessing i'll have to call her sometime this week again ! - dreading it !

happy flu monkees - i need a cuddle

Friday, January 28, 2005

The week at a glance - phew

One mother fokker of a week - end of jan and still have some cash in my pocket ! do you know its been 7 weeks since payday ! YES 7 weeks - why o why couldnt my co. pay us today and not monday - but i suppose thats ok - another 2 days really doesnt hurt - with work in mind im £12 short of hitting target and the difference in backpocket pay is £650 ! (ouch) finger out on Monday to drag some bsuiness from somewhere.

Weekends looking a little bleak - ST's taking me out tomorrow - off to Bugatti's i think then onto wherever - hmmm - Sunday will be a day of rest and reflection - February is looking to be awesome - loads going on in the social calendar - which reminded me - i dug out my old diary from last year - read some entries from when i met SS - it was a quick and whirlwind romance and i counted 2 weeks before she said she loved me - I wonder ............. Has she said that to someone else yet ? - do i care ... Yes ... shame really - my diary read very well - i was so chuffed to have met someone so sweet (well at least i thought she was) Now i just see her as a taker - someone destined to be treated as a trophy bird - I hope not - as much as i dont like her anymore and dont have any time i wouldnt wish hurt or pain on her - mind you i dont wish her happiness either - anyone who cant give a reason for dumping 4 days before xmas then doesnt give a card and rings on NYE says she loves me and misses me and then ................. o im bored of that .,....

Right so GR is off to pastures new - we all signed a card - he sent the funniest leaving email - basically saying that "i think you need help" to the rest of his team - nice one !

NH looking awesome - im feelin something there - shame its taken - hmm - off to see RD in the week - my first blind date in ages - they are normally pretty cool

right im off

Never too old to play online Marioworld ! ! !

Look i'm into some games and all in all ive grown out of cutesy platform games (hasnt everyone !) but this takes me right back - i can remember playing Mario for hours on end - thought it was excellent ! So click the picture to play the new flash version - drum up some nostalgia

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Nothing to report to be honest . . .

Met ST last night for a cheeky pint - didnt know that she dj'd - interesting - should get her over to anne's for a demo - So anyway got myself off home watched tv and went to bed - DeeDee knocked for me last night no reason left - Im guessing she needs my help.

So im off out all day canvassing in beautiful Croydon town - cant bloody wait - freezinbg fucking cold wearing a suit !


Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Pubs fighting cocaine users ! no way !

It has been reported that landlords are using WD-40 against the use of cocaine in pub toilets _ now this strikes me as stupid and also very shortsighted for 2 reasons - Firstly - ploys to halt coke sniffing in bogs has been around for a long time - slanted cisterns or cisterns that are tucked away behind a wall - taking the toilet seat cover off as well - and how about leaving the toilets so dirty that you wouldnt even shit on the floor let alone cut your charlie and sniff it .....

So anyway these idiot landlords have decided to spray WD-40 on the cisterns - mmm - any bright coke sniffer would check the playing field of your cutting area before emptying £££ worth of white powder down - would'nt you .... you'd check the surface with your eyes and finger first - surely - and then if there was a film of oil or grime or whatever then you would wipe it clean with bog roll ... and then what are the cocks going to do ?

Or how about using a coke bullet to sniff your stuff ?

I rest my case m'lord - landlords take note as well - coke sniffers buy more drinks then drunks and normally are well behaved and full of life and generally up-beat - shouldnt you be encouraging "good behaviour" ?

mmm maybe not

Join hi-5 - and have fun ......

Click here - Join - be my mate and invite others - look about and read other peoples profiles and see some amazing pictures - No I Mean AMAZING !

The pikey boiler story . . .

Where the hell do i begin with this one ! Jeeesus ! ok here we go ..... I live in a 4 storey flat (on the ground floor) and on the top floor lives a small family of pikey's (travellers is the politically correct name - or junkies if your MH !!) Now bearing in mind they dont even have the grasp on life to wash a knife up they wouldnt know that their Maxi boiler needs periodical looking after - as far as water pressure is concerned or it starts overflowing - which is what basically happened - A small river of water was flowing down the side of the building which was hitting our gas meter and coming into the kitchen under the floor and somehow tripping the electricity - thus leaving us no mains power, heating or cooking / fridge / fucking everything but lights.

So off i went upstairs - armed with a screwdriver (to undo screws ! nothing else! ) to cut their water off - DeeDee the pikey mum up there was surprisingly helpful, albeit mashedup from years of drunkeness, she let me dismantle her bath (stopcock was under it) and turn her water off - Now what worries me today that at some point shes going to want to flush the loo (maybe i dunno ?) or wash up (yea right) or even have a drink (probably sniffs Special Brew for that)

So by tonight i need to formulate a plan so that 1. her boilers fixed 2. MH doesnt flip out like a kid and whine on about the junkies all night 3. make sure my Xbox night isnt abandoned because of bad weather (as it were)

What fun - I am truly a diplomatic genius and im wasted selling - i should be running the country - guess what i wouldnt have my pal MH as Home Office advisor or we'd all be kicked out and sent to Slovakia to serve hard time picking potatoes ....

Have a good one monkee pals

Monday, January 24, 2005

Never take a right wing Yankee into KFC !

Jesus christ - wont be doing this again ! - tell you what though - strange as it sounds i enjoyed it (the story will show why) It was kinda "Fight Club-esk" and had shadows of insanity tucked up under its wing - Mental - so here is the story.

Friday night - overjoyed that its the weekend so a jaunt off to Unwins secures me some beer - Happily playing Fable and getting somewhere when MH pops back with Zoe - sits down and we tuck into more beer and eventually some whisky - whilst listening to our CD - "Lets go to KFC" said MH - Ok so we did - After swaying like drunkards down there MH decided to do totally the wrong thing and go all "right wing" on me and spout ridiculous allegations of "white trash" and "white ******" to a couple of unsuspecting chav's waiting for their chicken - "FUCKING WHAT" said one of them "oooo nothing really" i said " Hes rehearsing for a film part " i said on my feet - My thinking process wasnt its best and to be honest that was a totally crap excuse.

WHAM BANG SMASH KICK PUNCH - and then was booted out into the road with a fat chav running at full speed at me looking to put a boot thru my head ~ Naturally i ran off to the kebab and took shelter whilst MH was getting 9 lives kicked out of him - I feel bad that i didnt stick about but to be honest i was already reeling from the 3 or 4 blows to my head and the punch or boot to my ribs had clearly broken one of them as it was painful just to breathe ! Whilst sheltering i called the old bill to get their asses down to save him - (and me) needless to say with my glasses missing in action and hanging around for another 10 minutes - they didnt turn up - So off i strolled back to the house -

After licking wounds and laughing like children about getting the shit kicked out of us - Zoe and MH went off to bed and so did i - Next day woke up feeling like id gone 10 rounds with bloody Mike Tyson - And realized that one of my ribs was obviously cracked and my head as sore as a bruised apple that had fallen off the top branch onto concrete. MH went to hospital and was told he'd broken his wrist - Thus gig cancelled for the 5th - and well all i can say is that i will spend another £30 with Mo next weel for some snazzy new glasses !

Bez wins Big Brother

How on earth did this trumped up drug addict get to win BB ? Well he did and heres a picture of him being Bez at his best (a tired old raver whos had too much speed)

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Going going GONE !

Karma sold for £540 ! yep can you beleive it ! went up £100 in the last fucking 30 seconds which was odd coz it was only 1 bidder who raised it ! suppose he wanted it quite bad !

So 3-5 days i'll have me some cash !

i love ebay mmmwahh !

Friday, January 21, 2005

O no .. Not more of the Osbournes !

Yes thats right kids - the dreaded Osbournes are back for the 5th and final series on their beleagured, drug ridden lives - more torturing dog poo stories - i hope we get to see more quad-bike action from Ozzy (the noob) - So feel free to turn to MTV this season and hear hundreds of bleeps every episode or move to Australia and here the un-cut version - much more fun i imagine !

Click the lovely picture to tour Ozzie and Sharons pad - watch out for the dog poo !

Rave dates for Feb

Im going to be a busy busy boy in Feb and get me some party stripes - DM's playing and i'll be carrying record box to the following ~ 5th Feb Show @ Copyright (the best club youve never heard of) ~ 11th Feb Limbic @ Infinity club in Mayfair ~ 26th Feb Leopard Lounge Fulham.

More dates in March to be confirmed - I cant think that bloody far ahead ! jeesus .... Spent 1 hour this morn showing Dekester the ropes on direct sales - He said i was very direct and didint diddle-daddle around - You fucking know it fuk face !

Right off to do some deals

The big food mistake story

Well its not a BIG story but i tell you what - My tummy thinks it's a big bloomin story - Went for a couple of beers after work with DF, JO and DK - got a call from SS re helping her (needless to say i dont really know what she needs help with) and then home - Played Fable for a bit and then got hungry - So heres the story

Went into the kitchen and saw Brown bread - looked at the shelf and saw Baked beans - Put 2 and 2 together and WHAM - one very very VERY farty bottom today - Fell sick as well - Way to much fibre - May have to call in th exterminators to kill the smell in my room ! eeeeew !

Hehehehe anyway that aside - Think today will be a good day - need to close those rogue deals today and finish up on 5k for the month - need 1.5k in 6 days to get my 25% and an extra ££££ in my Feb pay packet....

Salut !

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Calm down dear !

You know that Michael Winner fella's avertising e-sure - and the tag line is "calm down dear" ! If that wasnt great enough someone has remixed the advert ! all 7.2MB of it ! Click the link below it will open up in Winplayer or whatever you use....

Calm down dear - It's just a commercial (Remix)

Fell off my wagon

O dear o dear o dear .... someone shoot me dead .. I really think i need proffesional help !! leave me alone in a room with a few beers and i morph into a right plonker - JO pulled the trigger last night - I pulled my trigger AGAIN as well last night - I must apologise to LL - think i called her and :'( my self to death .....

That aside i feel like poo today - need to concentrate on other stuff - i was doing soooo well !

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Dentist appointment sorted

Yep - i did it - no more half smiling and shying away from close conversation - im getting me gnashers crowned - checked the pricing and it can be done all within Feb - So watch this space - I may even take pictures --- I cant wait .. well excited --- just imagine - i havent smiled properly in front of people for like 6 years or more maybe !

good for me huh !

Nothing to see here . .

Un-eventful night - MH washed up i dried up - eat a massive bowl of mash and beans with butter and did some washing - watched celeb big bro for a bit - got sidetracked on the other side - and went to sleep early doors - Woke up - washed - eat and walked to work - made tea - GB's off ill - Maxfields off ill - and so'd GS - whatever is going round you can keep it - i dont want it !

No more bids on Korg yet - sitting pretty at £275 - i might actually throw myself out the window in a minute - Need young NH to massage my back again - im in such pain - Had a look at crown prices on net - not as scary as i thought - about £250 a peice and i need them desperately - i want my smile back - besides its not nice to look at - why didnt i get them done 6 years ago ! o well - now is the time rj !

off to catch some monkees

Tuesday, January 18, 2005


Classic ! Wales has been missed off the UK map when depicted in the EEC for the 2nd time in 3 months - Some old fella of 70 was told he couldnt renew his insurance of 10 years because " Wales was not a country and not in the UK"

"Initially, I thought it was a bit of a laugh really but I would have thought a more fervent Welshman would be more upset about it," said the pensioner.

Well what can i say ! Shame they didnt miss off another country i can think of !

Interesting development !

Went out for a beer quite late (9pm) met up with the BP lot - down the Earl - So anyway got chatting with joe and he's interested in starting up this coffee website with a view to getting his mate to let us do the Jewellry site - explained that basically we need to get the coffee site up and built before we even meet the guy - so as to build some credibility - So sent off the business plan to Joe to get his ideas and we will go from there.... still interesting tho - didnt realise he had tons of the stuff sitting in storage !

Difficult getting up today - didnt get to bed till 1 ish - naughty rj ! tut tut .... No further bids on the Korg but its got 5 days to go yet which is a touch - Got my cash from AC last night feel a little bad as they are all as skint as me too - but it's owed and they are using the equipment so its fair i think...

Right - I may post some random shite later - check the dmcfoto blog later - i took 110 odd fotos Friday night ! bloody hell ! should get back on the DSI spotter thing - seems like a fun way to make friends again doesnt it ! which reminds me must call DM see how he is ... and get that appt sorted ! jesus i hate it so much - have to sort my smile out ....

later monkees

Monday, January 17, 2005

Nice one - Lay 2 of my mates off why dont ya !

Today saw - DM and AC get laid off from their respective jobs - Yea how freaky is that ! On top of that GR handed his notice in - not that that wasnt expected anyway ! He's been aching to do the off from about 2 years ago - One of those kids that will never EVER be happy in a job - Anyway feeling shit for DM and AC - ones got a mortgage the other a kid - Blimey - made me feel a little stoopid whining on about SS - why did i write that ! seee im a plonker

So anyway off out later to sort a couple of things out - My Korgs gone up to £255 on ebay :) horaaah ! And tomorrow i'll have those pics from Friday published for all to laugh at !

Had an out of the blue dinner invitation from a young lady - Just sorting out the time / place now - Why not huh ! ? i mean makes sense . . see what happens

See you tomorrow monkee's

O dear ..... I am a twot

Yes - Saturday i did the inevitable, and called SS abused her verbally and sent her stuff in a cab to CP - All gone - A resulting "dont ever call me again" text message was warranted im afraid - and now just maybe my head can relax in the knowledge i dont EVER have to see that girl again - I put all my eggs in her basket thinking that just because she was kind considerate and a whole lot more compatible then Anouska - that i should trust her with my life - O god how i was wrong - It will now make trusting anyone a lot lot harder - I dont expect to be back on the scene for some time - like i said before and like a certain person said to me "its all about you now matey" getting my life and all the bits and peices i need - Sorted

So Mondays here another week of hard graft ahead - and the prospect of feeling good within myself aint far off - Just hope the wrangles internally sort themselves out.

Chin up wanker ! - forget SS - she wasnt worth it ... someone is - and one day ~ maybe one day she'll turn up - dont go looking .... O i'll shut up now - TAXI ! ! ! ! !

The pics from Friday night are at home - cant post till tomorrow - sorry !

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Post party ...

Well im back home .. went for a walk with Bennie and MH .. was good .. bennie was asleep for all of the walk but i think that was the whole point . . . have shit loads of photos to post from EL's party .. fell asleep at 4 am apparently . woke up at 11.55am .... El and MA gave me a lift home . thank god ... upstairs ... yes upstairs are drillin for oil i think .. fuckers ... anyway

see u monday monkee

Friday, January 14, 2005

My great workstation - Just thought you would love to see where i work from - It's great - GB in the background there waffling on to GB2 about tonight ... more random photos on the way when i find a suitable subject . . . probably taking my camera to EL and CT's housewarming ... hehe probably get beaten up for it mind you .... Posted by Hello

It's here ! at last . . .

The weekend is here and im ready to party - EL's party later and im playin - R&B though .... eeee .. never mind it will be fun whatever - Early night last night watched normal trash TV and off to bedski - was tired for a change and my brain wasnt messin with my sleep so dropped off early ! hurrah - im getting there at last..

Put the Korg up on ebay and got a reserve bid already altho i may have to take it down as im thinking the reserve price of £200 is a little tooo low ... looking into that later - realistically i dont really care if i get the £200 i'd be happy to sell - meaning i gotten most of the cash i lost from DC back - and i still have the AKAI and server to rid with buyers on both those bits - all good...

I would go into whats going on at work but since that fella got the boot from waterstones im not going to . .

chow monkee's - cant remember the last time someone coommented on my blog - suppose thats coz i dont Blogexplode anymore - still get 10 odd visitors a day though -

later monkees see you the other side of Sunday

Thursday, January 13, 2005

O harry what have you done NOW !

3rd in line to the throne Prince Harry - has again put his foot in his mouth and gone as a nazi to a colonial themed fancy dress ball - His brother William went as a lion .... Now methinks this sounds a little odd - Didnt the brothers discuss what they were wearing BEFORE the party - For gods sake - i think they should have - Here's how the conversation could have gone

H - William old chap what are you wearing ?

W - Im going as a lion old bean

H - A lion - thats gay.. think of something better you fool

W - I beg your pardon brother so what are you wearing then smarty pants ?

H - A nazi

W - Jesus christ younger brother - what will the subjects think

H - Fuck 'em - I dont care

W - Fine ~ See you there . .

Chaps your verging on the insane - sort it before one of your loyal subjects gets the hump and trys it on with one of your security guards !

Plans for the summer

T'was good to catch up with AC and the gang - plans are afoot to have a massive outdoor rave in Wiltshire somewhere - Eve who i met on New Years eve is arranging for the back end of an articulated truck to be parked in the middle of a field and AC has to organise a 20k watt amp and PA system - Joe bless him wants to order 10,000 cans of stella to sell - was trying to explain that was a bit (well a lot) over the top and 1000 people would not polish off 10 cans each - he was adamant that they would - i left it with MB to sort him out ! - So anyway we met at the local cheap beer establishment and as usual half way thru the night ended back at A's house knocking out loud thumping beats until 12... great !

AC's knocking another plan together about going to Naples as a group in the summer - Fucking awesome plan ! 9 of us with 2 of them Italians plan to hit the shores around 1st 2nd week of August - i promised to look into Easyjet prices - bit of a pipe dream at the moment but AC does have a knack of making things so - all good :)

Met someone quite interesting last night as well - although im not making the same mistake as i did with SS - She seems nice and thats it - there may be a mutual spark - you know me i read into shit .. she dresses nice - and english which is good and not far off my age which makes a change as well - SS was too young bless her - I forget - I wouldnt have wanted to settle down at 25 why on earth would she - Joe had his own view on stuff - He reckons she shit herself - and couldnt handle the commitment - well im guessing he's right after all the only excuse SS gave me was that "it wasnt the right time" .... we agreed that she had the bollocks to dump me 4 days before christmas and because of that we should respect her .......................... makes sense i suppose - i'll see what my battered self esteem and trampled heart has to say on the matter and then let you all know.

So anyway back home and spent 30 mins with MH listening to last weeks jam at the studio - sounded really good - i was impressed - no really it was ! so chatted rubbish for a while - i cant really remember and then bed....

So anyway keeping on the straight and narrow again today - funds are starting to bite - but thankfully i have a steady income from DC's stuff that im selling... awesome

Have a good day monkee dudes !

O and Maxfield - nice comment! - but thats just not gonna get things sorted i cant just dump the shit outside - its personal bits and some jewellery so not suitable for binning or dumping - I'll just wait for that call . . . tick tock tick tock ti.. to.. ..... .....

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Half way to the weekend

Nearly there - thank god - off for some beers with a few old pals after work - catch up with whats going on - promised myself i'll be home and in bed by 9pm - No i mean it - I need my sleep - plus i dont wanna be spanked in the morning - did 60+ calls today but 2 of those were 30 odd minutes long so thats ok - Waiting on a big big deal - more or less £1600 gp .. im 90% confident its mine - its new business and if i do it all on the phone its all mine .. muhahaha

So anyway

O before i go some bloke at Waterstones got the boot from work for blogging ! mind you he did slag the company off largestyle and called his boss "evil-boss" (loony) i remember a while ago saying something silly - i since deleted the post - makes no sense slagging people off - unless your names Dan Clark and your a lieing dwarven idiot of course

Peace monkees !

KILL spyware for good ! !

Thankfully those nice people at Microsoft (yak) have let us download a lovely spyware killer that seems to work SOOO much better then Adware or Spykiller or any of those other crappy .exe's - It ran for 29 minutes scanning my 8gb full HD and found 57 nasty entries - it then kindly quarantines or removes them - and then resets IE back to full working order - with your choice of homepage and all those lovely settings restored - Only problem is that if you run messenger plus (by Patchio) then it wants to delete it - Now whatever you do - DONT - messenger plus is not high risk and does not hijack your homepage or add bars to your IE.

Another problem is that it only works for IE not for Firefox - although ive yet to be 'adwared' in any way with Firefox - HORAY !

Cool film !

Got home last night after a pretty hectic but rewarding day and crashed on my couch with a cup of tea - MH was out seeing his lad, so all was peaceful. Watched the usual trash TV of the Simpsons then Hollyoaks, Emmerdale and Eastenders. MH got back about 8 and no sooner had he arrived then Zoe turned up - It seems they like their own company nowerdays - Dont blame them why sit with a boring sulky shit like me all night - To be honest im in mid-break turmoil anyway - Im still going over and over WHY the fuck it all happened - Even when i get my head down to sleep - now at 12+ ! - I cant get it out of my mind - its all a matter of time i know..

Anyway - I watched King Arthur last night which surprisingly i found really really good - Troy was ok when i saw it last year but in my mind King Arthur had more realism and a better and more beleivable story line - Troy of course was set on a fable - A mythical warrior Archilles - On the other hand King Arthur has some history and is set down in folklore - Merlin wasnt a magician he was a Woad leader in Scotland apparently - He didnt do magic he led the forest dwelling Woads ... Anyway i digress - 8/10 for King Arthur - Loved Kiera Knightly as Gwendeline and Ray Winston as Bors ... written strangely by someone with a Spanish-like name - directed by someone equally foreign - O well i liked it.

Again this morning i was woken by upstairs shagging like it was Armageddon - been about the 10th day running - my body clocks in tune with them now - its crap i wake up just as the bang bang bang bang starts ...(about 6am) Had enough of it - not fair - i wanna make some noise too - why the fuck i didnt wanna make noise before is beyond me - seems the whole worlds battering their mattresses (and missus) every night and morning and theres me worried i might wake MH.... bollocks that will teach me...

Right its nearly 9am meaning its time to kick someones ass on the phone - 80 calls is target today - i did over 80 yesterday but then i was well up for it - must keep the rhythm going - Must get that dentist appt sorted too ..

you know it makes sense Sy...

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Commenting on blog

I have just changed the general rule that commenting can be made anonymously - So you dont have to be a blogspot blooger to add comments - Its a trial - if i get greif then i'll turn it off again.

Anon1 returns

My chatango stalker appeared again 5 minutes ago and wrote "hahaa" .... ok - thats fine might be nice if you said who you were you monkee.... i have a feeling who it may be - but im usually wrong so TC if its you stop being a plonker

Monday, January 10, 2005

I can't wait - 4 the weekend to begin . . .

What a choon .. you funky divas know what im talking about ... LL was online all night ... hmmm ... may suggest travellin there ... talks a good shop . too soon for me . finishing off my chores . watching tv in bed i think till i falll off - cant believe im here bloggin at 10pm . . . way i see it - its my history ... i make it .. i blog it.

night monkees

The Bathroom

Finished the bathroom .MH stormed in a while ago - he's ok Giving up weed's made him tetchy ..... no probs just a little unconcerting .... randoms on good form ... musik kicks good - think i need to get back to roots... I have 4 pc's sitting here .. and a giant flat screen ... sampler . Korg Karma and enough shit to build a home studio . right off to finish kitchen and bathroom ...

Graph of current Goldmine completed activities

Snoredom - here we go this is what the dept graph looks like as of close of play today - I'll only post this boring boring crap once a week - its for my purpose only ok ! (click for larger graph)

Yay good news at last . . .

See it didnt take long did it - DM or Random as he can be called here; called today to give me news - Gigging in Mayfair at the begin of Feb at some club - forgotten the name - 11th to be exact - can't wait ! i'll be paid - head strong and ready to party again.

Then a gig later in Febuary which is unclear at the moment but again promises to kick ass - Thank god i do have a life to look forward to .... Band practice with "The Flaming Rizla's" or whatever we are called (jeeez) tonight -(no cant be right it was the Flaming Moe on the Simpsons wasnt it !) altho MH said that i may not need to pop down as he wants to work with Susie on the drums - So depending on whether or not i go for a cheeky pint with TW this evening or not is whether i get my ass down there - altho i should MH kinda made me feel i should'nt and o yea the other night he verballed me about being in the band full stop - im guessing he's weighing up whether im up for it or not - which i SO am - but - o i dont know ......

Anyway Monkee's im off ... had a good good day today - Sold a copier to the ***** Embassy (starred out or it will google me like last time) and i have some good leads from todays graft . well done mate im proud of ya

Anonymous Chantago's

Wooo - Someone who knows me popped in to say hello - ANON1 being the log in - Now i checked my referrrers list and it wasnt who i thought it could have been so it was someone on email (the chatango buttons on my email template for work purporses you understand) Im guessing... BUT it could have been JH for all i know ---- eeek.

This is me looking mean - sorry about the white out i was having problems with my camera all night ...... its a better one of me - i tend to look like a spaz (see below with Nina) Posted by Hello

He is young Gary and RH looking pouty just for a change ..... Piccy from a while ago in Yates.. Posted by Hello

The beautiful KW .... (in the middle) strange but she got dumped just before xmas too...... why ! ? he dumped her - makes you think doesnt it ! Posted by Hello

Me and the lovely Nina from Xmas party - Wish how i wish i didnt look so bloody stoopid everytime i get a picture taken of me .... Posted by Hello
More pictures please im getting bored

So with SS firmly put down in history i will carry on blogging my life - with pictures and stuff to look at - No more Sulky depressing blogs - Just nice stuff and some upbeat news and whatever - And on that note - We raised £75 on friday for DS's fathers tribute - he died of Lymph cancer after about a 16 month battle - God Bless you

KW's looking awesome today - so is RH but you know the score Sy - girls at work strictly off limit - been there done that - tshirt was worn out so i binned it.

A great British fresh start

There was me thinking i could handle it ... Nope not by a mile - I eventually lost my cool Saturday evening . The thought of her sitting at home doing "whatever" and me twiddling my thumbs - wanting to be there - feeling lonely gave way to anger - Still cant justify her reasons - so i decided to self-implode - Im used to that - Its no secret that i cant deal with rejection . In fact rejection is my worst fear . and to be rejected by SS just before xmas the way i was isnt ever going to get any better - Staring at her on Thursday made me realise that i cant be this girls friend - Impossible

How could i trust her in anyway ? i mean i dont beleive there isnt someone else - Rob perhaps - Hes just been released from a long term relationship - and it was clear from when i first met him in The Treehouse that they have a "special" relationship - OH whatever - i dont care anymore.

Getting SS to say "we will never be together ever again " on saturdaynight kinda iced the cake didnt it matey..... Spent the rest of the weekend wondering why i did that ... But it makes sense - No more pain - No more wondering and certainly it will help me to move on and get on with my life - If you read this SS i am sorry - i just cant be your pal as much as i wanted to - I wish you well .... maybe in a few months we can catch up.

I will be cabbing her stuff back to CP - no more ties

Zbogom -Jaz Zeleti vi no!

Friday, January 07, 2005

Head fuck

O good god - im here again ... im such an easy bastard to hurt - I dont get it - I seem to read into things that just arnt there - why o why did i think for ONE minute flat that SS would wanna see me on the weekend - I didnt ask but then nor did she - After our actions last night i think i should go back to plan A - its all well and fine being friends but when that friendship seems - well - one sided it doesnt work - Am i that bad to be with - NO -

So here i am 5.30 Friday night - NO plans AT ALL for the weekend - i dont know what i am going to do - I was fine when i thought id never see her again - I could see a light at the end of the tunnel - It made me feel alive and good - i could envisige someone NEW someone who could give me what i need - BUT i choose to stay friends with the one person who cant give me what i want - and by the sounds of it - will never -

Im going to go for a few beers with the lads from work - see whats about and put my famous cheeky chat on .... it worked over christmas didnt it ! famous last words i suppose - I have to concentrate on not wondering what SS is doing - Shes not going to be thinking what im doing is she ..... not even a second thought .....

Im history im afraid - time i woke up and did something about it ...

see you Monday monkees

Wahoooo 1111 visitors !

Amazingly i have had 1111 visitors visit/ read my blog - since August 2004 - Now since the introduction of webmarshall at work im not sure whether or not i can continue in the same fashion although i never EVER take lunch i dont see why - Im sure my precious employers dont mind me taking 5-10 mins a day to scribble my thoughts here - im not doing any harm - they might even gain something from it - What ? i dont know .....

First foot forward

I met SS last night for the chat i'd been needing - It went well - i got the answers i was looking for - And i think i also have a friend - hopefully a very good friend - one that doesnt let me down - who helps and supports and who will always be there for me ... Like i would for them - Now there's a rule that i have for my close friends - We can do whatever we want but if the words "I need you" are uttered then you drop everything and be there - Whatever the situation ....

Its not a difficult thing - i see no reason why myself and Sonia cannot be close - There seems to be masses of electricity between us - its amazing - she is such a wonderfully lovable person - i would be a nutter if i didnt stay her friend - Its gonna be hard and it will need strength to make sure emotions dont get in the way - I have my shit to deal with and she has hers - I just wanna be there when she needs someone - And i promised to her i would.

Seems strange that two people who genuinely seem to love eachother cannot be together but from our chat i see it IS the right thing to do - Not just for her although it seemed so selfish before xmas - but for me too ... It gives me space in my head to acheive what i have set out to do this year ... And maybe we can have some fun together too .. I would love that to be the case...

So all in all - im happier - i was miserable - at least i can concentrate -

Thank you SS ..... you have a friend for life .. x

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Totally Confused ....

Now - i am normally tuff in these situations and last night i was tuff - but this morning i get a call from Sonias ex boss at 7.30 in the morning asking if she was with me - ! erm well i suppose he wouldnt know would he - So i text Sonia to call me so i could tell her about him calling me - and in short she said that her and Becky want to get a place - meaning - well work it out Simon ..... Unrelaible - even if me and her had of gotton a place can you imagine if she decided to up and leave like she did before christmas !

And a note to myself - Get on with your life Simon - leave what is done - done - you have no reason to try and ressurect the past - she showed her colours and they hurt you at the worst time of the year - Do you want to get burnt again huh .... NO - It took you 2 weeks to get proper sleep - 2 weeks to eat a meal - 2 weeks to stop snivelling at anything remotely lovey dovey on telly - GET A LIFE and move on ......

And to end this - Note to Sonia - If your reading my blog (and i know you are) then i trust you know that every time you get in touch or call me it sets me alight - I miss your calls texts and company - you were my best best friend and lover - you dont have any idea how much shit i went thru over christmas - i never want to go there again - Im just so confused on what i should do now - Should i try something new and be there for you - be your friend - or should i go ..... thats a song i think ....

ok monkey now youve aired your soul - move on out soldier ....

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Possibly the worst Christmas possible . . . .

Yes - now im not gonna sit here and whine on about me me me - because the startling devastation across asia outweighs my grief by 150,000 to 1 (and counting) - I couldnt beleive it when i got back from my dads after Boxing day - i had no idea that had happened - That aside i just stood for my 3 minutes silence and wanted to shed a tear for all those poor souls who lost their loved ones and family - My heart is with you all......

However this is my blog and i have to tell my story - The Sunday before Christmas my now ex girlfriend dumped me - with no reason either she said - o so i thought - everyone has a reason and i think she had many - In all honesty its not the reason i wanted but WHY didnt she talk to me about it - Im a nice guy - i can listen (too much sometimes) and not afriad of change so why on earth didnt she talk to me - I asked her "Why" - " i dont know " was the answer i kept getting back from her I think we both know Sonia that that wasnt good enough for me - and left me thinking all kinds of things that probably were not true ... It was only a week before that she was happy to spend Christmas with me - asked if i could stay that week - i was cooking dinner for us all .... What on earth made her change her mind - was it someone else - was it that i didnt call her on Saturday - Was it always on the cards anyway and she was living a lie for the last 2 months since Black Friday ? Fuck knows

Whatever the reason i spent Christmas alone and that wasnt a fun option - Even matt went away - leaving me for 3 days in solitude - it was on hindsight quite good for me - I went places in my head and soul i never knew existed - I questioned everything about myself and my soul asked me to make a change - So i am ....

Im not looking for anyone to fill the void - the void that i have lives within me - Changes are afoot that will make me a complete person - not an emotional rollcoaster rider - the man that i am now....

Im not saying it will be ok overnight - it wont i still think of her every bloody minute of the day - She sits there on messenger and doesnt say hello - now she doesnt answer my text - which is weird coz i missed her call and text her if it was important ... I dont know .... My mums fiance called her "trunculent" - Now that word does not i said NOT describe her at all ! She was kind , funny, generous and loving - talented and vervacious - she rocked my world and i loved her ..... So anyway once the niggling pain of losing someone special dies out, i will try hard to stick to my new regime of things - its nothing durastic at all ! so dont get confused or think im a superstar as its clear from my blog i am not ...

But guess what - I WILL BE ! Too many times have i fallen out of love and fallen in love overnight - it has to stop and 2005 is the year of me - Im not sharing myself this year - If someone comes along and changes my life - helps me acheive what im looking to do - so be it .... im not hanging around someone just for the sake of it

Now im waffling bollocks so im off to do some work again ...

catch u soon monkey ;)