First of all - Im sorry ive slowed down blogging - ive been working instead (huh?) - Been quite busy as well actually and if you dont like it as i know some of you stalk me (yes you do dont you!) - then fuck off - ok heres the tale of Dan Tim and the Ungodly task.
Now theres a young lady in my life that has an extremely well set of breasts - Shes a bright and funny girl, who, in light of this tale and after some thought, is actually one of my good friends and i hope always will be - However - She has an un-natural urge to show the world her tit's. Not "out" as is page 3 - but more Zoo or Nuts (in a bra and top if you can call it that) - My question is - How much boob can you legally show in the office before i begin wanking under my desk ? - Today i think i'm going for the "office wank" stripes - i have many of these "stripes" already (ask me later i'll tell you what stripes i have) but i feel the wank stripe is particually important - Especially since i fwap almost every hour when im on my own and therefore i qualify as a "wanka"
You may ask yourself why i called this post Dan and Tim - well Dan and Tim are as bald as me and therefore resemble young ladys heavy chesticles - I shall be taking a picture a some point to show you the full extent of the tittage. Im not complaining about it - except that i have a small problem - Im massively attracted to boobs - and cant stop looking at 'em - What the fuck can i do - ive been rumbled so many times now its ridiculous - but the more i get rumbled the smaller the top gets - I wonder if she gets a kick from my gawping - what do you lot reckon ?
Now onto a more interesting subject - Im a fully fledged 419'r - Do you know what a 419 is ? If not then look here - So im sure you get the picture - but today i got the best one EVER - and i urge you to help me in this "ungodly" task (punnage was quite good there!) Normally the email gets you involved in mining a diamond mine - 42 carats normally - or helping bank 42 million US dollars coz someones dad has been imprisioned - (i fucking hate these *unts) So heres a slice of the email that i think even YOU will feel is sick and twisted.
"I am Mrs. Rosaline Holstein I am a dying woman who have decided to donate what I have to you/ church. I am 59 years old; 2 years ago I was diagnosed for cancer, immediately after the death of my husband Mr. Gregory Ray Holstein, who has left me everything he worked for while in America."
Firstly why is she donating to me? and secondly i think Gregory would probably have some friends - bearing in mind he rich and lives in America - and thirdly - why the fuck isnt she in America ?
I have been touched by God to donate from what I have inherited from my late husband to you for the good work of God, rather than allow my relatives to use my husband's hard earned funds ungodly. Please pray that the good Lord forgive me my sins. I have asked God to forgive me and I believe he has because He is a merciful God. I will be going in for an operation in less than one hour.
Touched by God ? and who are the relatives that are ungodly? - i cant quite get over the twunt emailing just me before going into an operation 1 hour before her death . . . . God is merciful i can vouch for that - but i do hope that this 419'r catches ebola and dies. Please . . .
Lastly - please do visit my 419 site and add any 419's you have - and if you like we can go baiting theses *unts - just like me and my good friend SL .... muhahhahaha