Tuesday, January 25, 2005

The pikey boiler story . . .

Where the hell do i begin with this one ! Jeeesus ! ok here we go ..... I live in a 4 storey flat (on the ground floor) and on the top floor lives a small family of pikey's (travellers is the politically correct name - or junkies if your MH !!) Now bearing in mind they dont even have the grasp on life to wash a knife up they wouldnt know that their Maxi boiler needs periodical looking after - as far as water pressure is concerned or it starts overflowing - which is what basically happened - A small river of water was flowing down the side of the building which was hitting our gas meter and coming into the kitchen under the floor and somehow tripping the electricity - thus leaving us no mains power, heating or cooking / fridge / fucking everything but lights.

So off i went upstairs - armed with a screwdriver (to undo screws ! nothing else! ) to cut their water off - DeeDee the pikey mum up there was surprisingly helpful, albeit mashedup from years of drunkeness, she let me dismantle her bath (stopcock was under it) and turn her water off - Now what worries me today that at some point shes going to want to flush the loo (maybe i dunno ?) or wash up (yea right) or even have a drink (probably sniffs Special Brew for that)

So by tonight i need to formulate a plan so that 1. her boilers fixed 2. MH doesnt flip out like a kid and whine on about the junkies all night 3. make sure my Xbox night isnt abandoned because of bad weather (as it were)

What fun - I am truly a diplomatic genius and im wasted selling - i should be running the country - guess what i wouldnt have my pal MH as Home Office advisor or we'd all be kicked out and sent to Slovakia to serve hard time picking potatoes ....

Have a good one monkee pals

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