Monday, January 24, 2005

Never take a right wing Yankee into KFC !

Jesus christ - wont be doing this again ! - tell you what though - strange as it sounds i enjoyed it (the story will show why) It was kinda "Fight Club-esk" and had shadows of insanity tucked up under its wing - Mental - so here is the story.

Friday night - overjoyed that its the weekend so a jaunt off to Unwins secures me some beer - Happily playing Fable and getting somewhere when MH pops back with Zoe - sits down and we tuck into more beer and eventually some whisky - whilst listening to our CD - "Lets go to KFC" said MH - Ok so we did - After swaying like drunkards down there MH decided to do totally the wrong thing and go all "right wing" on me and spout ridiculous allegations of "white trash" and "white ******" to a couple of unsuspecting chav's waiting for their chicken - "FUCKING WHAT" said one of them "oooo nothing really" i said " Hes rehearsing for a film part " i said on my feet - My thinking process wasnt its best and to be honest that was a totally crap excuse.

WHAM BANG SMASH KICK PUNCH - and then was booted out into the road with a fat chav running at full speed at me looking to put a boot thru my head ~ Naturally i ran off to the kebab and took shelter whilst MH was getting 9 lives kicked out of him - I feel bad that i didnt stick about but to be honest i was already reeling from the 3 or 4 blows to my head and the punch or boot to my ribs had clearly broken one of them as it was painful just to breathe ! Whilst sheltering i called the old bill to get their asses down to save him - (and me) needless to say with my glasses missing in action and hanging around for another 10 minutes - they didnt turn up - So off i strolled back to the house -

After licking wounds and laughing like children about getting the shit kicked out of us - Zoe and MH went off to bed and so did i - Next day woke up feeling like id gone 10 rounds with bloody Mike Tyson - And realized that one of my ribs was obviously cracked and my head as sore as a bruised apple that had fallen off the top branch onto concrete. MH went to hospital and was told he'd broken his wrist - Thus gig cancelled for the 5th - and well all i can say is that i will spend another £30 with Mo next weel for some snazzy new glasses !

Bez wins Big Brother

How on earth did this trumped up drug addict get to win BB ? Well he did and heres a picture of him being Bez at his best (a tired old raver whos had too much speed)

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