Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Peek-A-Boo Masquerade Party

Just a little "big-up" to my bro' Damron whos playing at The Cross opposite Bagley's on the 27th December - Naturally i hoped i'd be getting guest list - But noooooo - I have to pay like everyone else - great. Well it will be actuallyt i expect - good old knees up just after xmas - looking forward to it already - Heres the flyer - or rather a bit of it - the rest of it is too big.... making it unreadable - erm why dont i just resize the image - IDIOT !



Monday, November 29, 2004

Annoy a Spammer ..... NOW !

Lycos have come up with a fucking brilliant way to get ur own back on those bastards who send us shit every hour - block up our email In-boxes and get us warning from IT admin for getting Blocked emails coz they contain the words "viagra" or "penis" or or u know what i mean.



Just click the piccy above to get to the site to download the screensave that --- hmm i'll cut and paste the clip.



Did u get that ? get on it NOW !

What a weekend !





Friday, November 26, 2004

Shitty Blog Club - Join it's free !

I joined the Shitty blog club - It seems like a good idea for this blog is truly crap - I make no bones about it - im not serious about finding fame or fortune - I do this to pass the time away - It keeps me happy when im bored and bores me when im happy ~ So heres the button and link - Join up ! - Make me a link on your page too !



Dont forget to save image and post it up on somewhere like Imagecave won't you !

Monster Munch Blue Tongue shocker .... eeew



Blue tongue ? nasty shit that it - I mean you don't associate BLUE with pickled onions do you ! Stupid bloody idea that was . . . .

Easyjet announce Luton - Bratislava !

Heres a taster for you peeps who know me - I was off to Slovakia for Xmas but for a few reasons im not - Anyway - Easyjet (bless 'em) have added my favourite city i've yet to visit to their already massive flight schedule from Luton (23 in all i think)

Anyway here's how much it costs me (or doesnt for that matter )



Mental isnt it - I mean £22.99 + airport tax there - £ fuck all back - NUTZ !

My mojo is back - Thank fuck for that

Well i was very nervous all week - but kept a lid on it generally - You know its very hard to stop those emotions when they get going - I really thought i'd lost Sonia thru my moment of plain madness and mentalness - But alas the Tarling charm was in full swing and saved the day.

We both have a little pressure in our lives but being that we are both easy going people we can help eachother get thru it, whereas on your own, it can be difficult - She's been bullied verbally a little from Terry as well - I mean not bullied but told stuff that would definately get my juices flowing ! That's for sure.

So last night was Turkey Day for the Queens massive in South Croydon - Twas a lowkey affair and dinner was served at about 10.30 - after watching possibly the crappest IACGMOOH ever - that nicola appleton (not in caps as she doesnt deserve it) is a twat - a prize twat and if she was my wife (liam gallaghers wife actually) i would be embarrassed - In fact i'd be filling for divorce. Cockshaft

The flat was thick with oven smoke and actually was well cooked and the gravy was yummee - Was impressed - Went to bed straight away - Sonia was knackered she looked so tired - bless.

So im totally chuffed - Im not making the same mistake again - I should know better really from past learnings with AC.

Right im off to earn some cash to buy my baby a big Xmas pressie - see ya later xx

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Stealing - But it's ok !

Ok so I stole this from Yunie
It's a little bit "gay" in my mind - but i'll join in the fun anyway !

Three questions.

A) First, recommend to me:
1. a movie
2. a book
3. a musical artist, song, or album

(B) I want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions, no more, no less. Ask me anything you want.

(C) Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends to ask you anything & say that you stole it from me.


Happy happy days !



I just went to the cash machine - to see how much i was overdrawn by - And just by chance i saw this fukking thing hanging out - Now i'd had a few beers so i checked twice before it actually sunk in !

Think it's his round!

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

English Thanksgiving . . .

You may or may not know this but i share a flat with a Bostonian - (no not a Bosnian) - and tomorrow is Thanksgiving - Horay ! Xmas dinners come early - except by the look of the size of turkey Matt bought we'll be eating turkey for weeks - maybe even upto Xmas ! Nooooooooo

Shopping in Tesco's last night was good - nobody was there - the shelves were packed and loads - i mean loads of special 2 for 1 offers and stuff - £83.00 was spent and that included beers - all the trimmings and enough stuffing to launch an army.

So - here's to tomorrow - Apart from that no news - Sonia's working herself to death - she doesnt sound like the Sonia i grew to love anymore - I think there's a sign of the X factor there but i'm not too sure - She sound's really deflated - Im going to have to do some special shit for her to get it going again - Which reminds me - I must call my Mum and get that prezzie ordered. May even get something done for her before xmas - I think she deserves it - hmmm wait till xmas.... dont wanna see that im doing it just coz of that - I mean ive been here before - buying expensive gifts coz u've been a twat doesnt really do me justice ~ a nice dinner and a trip off upto town and some effort on my part is overdue - I just hope it's not too late

Wish me luck peeps - im needing it !

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

I pee on toilet seats

Found these very funny - I can just imagine this as a t-shirt - Actually i might pop over to here and buy a few, maybe i can get one made saying "complete fucking cock.


Sparkle . . Where have you gone?

It's amazing actually - you create something special - you direct all those feeling to that direction and then you sit back one day see what you have built

and then WHAM

In just one mad moment you blow it all - Stupidly you don't think about the X Factor - this is the most important part of all relationships ~ It guards against other people - it makes you do things for one another ~ It even helps men wash their clothes and occasionally bathe - using soap ~ and stuff. Yes i know!

The X factor has disappeared for me - Its on leave - having a break - gone to sea - Fuck knows if its coming back - i want it to write a note or post me an email telling me where it's gone - Alas X factor doesn't tell you when its home - or where it went - It appears just as quickly as it disappears ~ it has no reason to ~ it's X

Monday, November 22, 2004

Time to smile again

No more ranting and i've had enough doom and gloom - Doesnt get you very far if your miserable ALL day ! Anyway found this over at dataste.com and thought i'd share it with those of you who don't surf Blogexplosion all day.

Entitled "how u doin?"


Thursday, November 18, 2004

I can't vouch for the accuracy of all of these:

You've probably (like me) read this before somewhere ! and yes i have stolen it off someone else's blofg - but i do like these strange oddities about life - I find them oddly interesting - My friends and colleagues call me mad sometimes boring - often slaphead or baldy , fatty and cock - ooo gay too -(although im clearly not !) ~ So read on !

  • The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.
  • No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.
  • Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
  • You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
  • Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.
  • The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
  • The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.
  • American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.
  • Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
  • Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
  • Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
  • The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.
  • So did the first "Marlboro Man."
  • Walt Disney was afraid of mice
  • The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
  • It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
  • A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
  • Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
  • And the best for last.....
  • Turtles can breathe through their butts.

Now you know everything there is to know.

The best way to cheat on a test? Im not sure about that really - I mean staring at boobies all day wont get anything done will it ! Nice looking pair as well ... I might have a booby day today as i'm feeling fairly childish - Yes why not !

(C)Ruthless Jack

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Im a celeb get me out of here! (UK 2004)

It’s the moment you have been waiting for, the I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here contestants have been announced and, as predicted, it’s the usual mix of Z-listers and has-beens. Excuse my brief explanation for each celeb but i wasn't entirely sure who some of them were:

  1. Nancy Sorrell: Vic Reeves’ wife (didnt he used to be married to a lezbo)
  2. Brian Harvey: The tiny over-excitable one, formally part of East17 (cock)
  3. Sheila Ferguson: from The Three Degrees, marvellous (who the hell is this ?)
  4. Paul Burrell: Princess Diana’s former butler (die fucker i hate you - common sleaze worm who should be hung by his bollocks and whipped till he screms his intestines out)
  5. Janet Street Porter: writes stuff, has a voice like a car horn (will cover ears when watching then)
  6. Fran Cosgrove: Nightclub owner, serial celeb-dater, apparently went out with Jodie Marsh (and who is another COCK)
  7. Sophie Anderton: Ex model (hmm tits out? can't wait)
  8. Antonio Fargas: ‘Huggy’ in Starsky and Hutch (cool like cardigans in the jungle!)
  9. Joe Pasquale: Comic, voice like a toy (fairly funny altho he puts the voice on - so will he talk like that all the time - could ruin career methinks)
  10. Natalie Appleton: Ex-All Saint and part of the infamous Appleton. (slag and extremely annoying like a smell coming from ur bum but u havent farted!)
They are packing their bags and heading for the jungle as we speak, ahead of Sunday’s live programme. Therefore, each stock will be available for purchase from noon on Monday. Let the jungle antics commence…

See CelebDAQ for more fun and games !

Blog buttons (well mine!)



I made a couple of buttons for my blog as ive seen them dotted around the blog-world - and i think its quite nice - although it's quite flashy and annoying i may limit the amount of flashes it does - anyway im boring myself - i may write an upto date full blog of my life later on - i have some increasingly interesting news to tell you all ....

Aerial photo-fest !


This is a picture of what looks like an oil tanker that's been beached in the middle of a desert - It just looks incredible actually and if you like the look of that then you'll love the look of this fellas page - full of aerial photo's

(C)Ruthless Jack

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Is hell hot or cold ?

I found this while I was surfing around today and thought it was good. It shows that the education system isn't failing in all aspects as this student definitely has a creative mind.

This was supposedly an actual question given on a University chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet which is of course why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

Attack of the panda : Earlier my friends over in distribution were attacked by London Zoo's missing panda - er no actually that's a lie but it was quite funny - heres the proof that it did happen.
(C)Ruthless Jack

Fingermouse !

Yes - I did it ! I got myself a FINAL WRITTEN warning - for having yesterday off - I admitted i was drunk on Sunday night fell over and cut my finger badly enough for it to bleed all over the floor and all over the toilet floor thus leaving a "snail trail" of red thick gunk. So anyway my first question is :- How can one get a final written warning when thay don't actually have a contract? - My second would be (not really a question) :- I dont actually care - Although getting the "boot" before Xmas would be bit of a bad thing - but not really too bad - i mean it would just mean i would have to find a job quicker - hmmm

So anyway my faithfull - i dont have any faithfull - maybe only 1 or even 2 people who may read this - Anyway I came up with a bit of a brill idea the other night whilst cozying upto Sonia. Why dont we fuck off somewhere nicer than Croydon - Like hmm Weymouth? or Torquay? Being nearer the sea and away from this shiyhole actually really appeals to me. So im off to find out more info on migrating to the coast somewhere - Must get some job details - see if there actually are any jobs first - that could be a good idea. So i might take another day off (booked this time) to get some more details together.

Sonia got told off too - I mean she doesnt give french knicker either about her job - they have taken the piss out of her from day one - whereas me - I'm just fed up with dealing with cocks and idiots. I need a fresh challenge - Its not even the money anymore - i mean i can survive on a few quid - I dont need to be happy beinng rich - Im happier being skint if i'm honest

Strange that - so anyway im off to find j-o-b-s in Southern En-ger-land WISH ME LUCK

Friday, November 12, 2004

Thinking Chess Game

Now Chess isn't one of my favourite past-times altho i used to play it a lot with my old pal Damron years ago over a can of beer and some good ol' fashioned skunk - BUT now chess has evolved into something visually beautiful.



Anyway so click away and even if chess doesnt blow u away like me - just have a look at your computer work out the next move - excellent
Apologies

I apologise in advance for my use of the word beginning with "c" in the blog below - I was upset and angry and i don't want to offend - however if you are / were offened by my use of the word beginning with "c" i offer you the chance to reply by clickin comments below.

Thank you
Fucking Cunts !

Now sometimes that word offends - Listen to my story and just maybe that word will make more sense

Last night on the way to meet Sonia i went to the bank - No actually before that i tried to get some credit for my phone - Twas refused - With this in mind i went to see the ABBEY cash machine - as i thought the worst.

My suspicions were true - my bank had raped me of £200 - YEP thats right £200 in bank charges - Now im all for the banks making money from going overdrawn - thats what they do - i sell copiers - they lend money - Its a partnership and i like it - BUT when i pay a bill on my visa on the 2nd of the month (when i have ample cash available) and it doesnt clear till the 21st (when im low on cash) therefore making me go overdrawn then thats WRONG - Also i wrote 3 cheques in september for a jacket and some shoes - All 3 days before i got paid - GUESS WHAT - i got charged for going overdrawn ! Now this strikes me as strange because when u try to clear a cheque it takes a min of 4 days sometimes 5 - NOOOOOO the bank actually clears it the VERY NEXT FUCKING DAY !

So ABBEY you have been named and shamed as a bank who likes to say YES we rape ur ass for cash my friend and we like it.

Cunts

ok - thats what they are

2ndly

Terry - your a cock - I don't know you - I don't want to either - You smell and your girlfriends a funny colour - sort it out

3rdly

Anyone wanting to call me slaphead or eggface or anything derogitory today about my head shape WILL get a slap. Try me fuckers i'm on the edge.

And lastly

BT - nope not the big telephone company we all know and love *yak. But that sick smelling breath monster that sits perched like an old lady at bingo at the top of my desking - If and IF you dont sort my contract out TODAY i will slap you - First i might bite your face then set fire to your trousers finishing off with a slap to your miniscule hamster-like face.

By the way your a cunt as well.

End . had enough of cursing - Got a bit pished last night and i have a headache that feels pretty sore at the mo - no-one has pills - not even Shaun - who nicked mine from Amsterdam.

This is the end - no more fucking around young man - Im going to slap you if you cross my path badly.

Be nice to me OR ELSE

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Eric Prydz - Call on me

Click there my faithfull friends - yes i pinched the link from another blogger namely Jeroens blogpage - Im sure they wont really mind - so anyway get clicking its clearly the best video ever ever made !


Yes thats just great ! 4 more years of this cock....

Joke of the day

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks,
interviews, and testing were done there were 3 finalists. Two men and a
woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal
door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the
circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair.
Kill Her!

The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife." The
agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife
and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went
into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with
tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go
home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to
kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were
heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the
walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and
there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow.

"This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death
with the chair."


MORAL: Women are evil. Don't mess with them

Pass on this advice !!

Vote for my blog



Yep now you can do just that - from the makers of HOT or NOT comes HOT or NOT blogs - great so anyway feel free to vote for me .... just a click will get you to my page and then vote away !

Will make a button for the side bar when i can be naffed - well thats if i get ANY votes at all.

Horror stories

Absolutely brilliant website! A must must see



Whilst your there you must sign up and "Masturbate for peace"

No really ! Get Firefox !



Trust me i have been using Firefox for about 5 months or so after IE got so infected with AD-ware and SPY-ware that it became unstable and crashes all the time - especially on "post data" entries or right in the middle of that laborious purchase from play.com or something

So what are you waiting for huh? GET IT NOW - or i'll set my Mum on you and i'm telling you - you won't want that!

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Firefox 1.0 released ! wooopeeee

LinkMachineGo: neo-maxi zoom linky | weblog: "Firefox 1.0 Released ... 'Thus did the followers rejoice with a clamour that shook the heavens; for the Fox came forth in its majesty, fully grown, and did henceforth swear an oath to do battle against those who would oppose it. Truly, rejoice, for the Fire hath descended from heaven to cleanse!' - from The Book of Mozilla, 11:9"
Amusing present!

Have toi blog this - Claire from work went off to meet a customer of hers (who'll remain nameless) who is known as bit of a weirdo - he wears a dicky-boe and loaud shirts and is in his late 50's i'd say - Anyway as a token of his affection for Claire (whos 22ish and blonde curvy too ;) Anyway he bought her a "rampant rabbit" Now for those who dont know what that is i will link it - but anyway - he bought batteries and also a pack of wipes for afterwards ... Now thats Amusing !

No idea who did this - but its damned colourful !

Goya


I think it's Goya - i found this on another site somewhere - Was quite impressed with the collection of assorted art - So i thought i'd have an art-day.. Prepare to be covered in art - In fact he is quoted as being "The father of modern art"

hmm interesting.

Monday, November 08, 2004

Pictures say it all dont they !



Well this just says it all really doesnt it my good American friends .... I shouldn't curse really - I mean he'll probably do as bad a job as John Kerry and anyway - At the end of the day Bush will always be our friend - Even if Tony's not so keen... bleugh

free counter

Free Hit Counters
Free counter just trying it out like

Weekend woes. . .

Just hang on now - Why the hell did i let that stupid cow get to me again - You know i was actually very close to losing Sonia this weekend - and all because of bignose-twat sending me a nasty text. What's my problem and why did i let it kill my weekend ?

Im not sure that it was all down to that - i think i was worn out from last weekends shenanigans and not having much sleep all week - must make up for that or i'll keel over and die. Luckily i feel quite ok today apart from my back killing me - must get that sorted. Sonia went to the gym yet again this morning - dunno how she does it!

Right must get on with the day i have some hard cash to make so i get my big bonus for Xmas ....


Thursday, November 04, 2004

Loop tonight

Right im off to the LOOP tonight with Sonia and Becky ! Wahee what fun - I have Sonia on the guest list but not Becky - Ooops.. Well i'll tell you how it went tomorrow - should be fun - I'll neck a few beers before i go methinks.

Nite nite

Mustache Summer

OMG jesus F**king Christ take a look at this i found earlier whilst blogging .... never again will i click a random link -

Mustache Summer
US Airways lost . . .

It's official . i couldnt get US Airways lease cleared - unfortunately the are in Chapter 11 in the states - not because they are skint but coz they are trying to renegotiate contract for their pilots and restructure the financing over there - They have $1 billion in the bank apparently ! what an arse - So i lost it to ICA - nothing i can do - makes me sad - hence my imood.
Hmm ok

Well i have just downloaded this Blogbuddy thing that allows me to easily add comments to my blog @ blogspot - So this is my first effort - Wonder what it will look like - Here goes

*clicking publish

Is it Thursday already . .

I can imagine that 99% of todays blogs all over the world will have the words "shit its 4 more years of Bush" but strangely i'm not too bothered - Altho i was a supporter of Kerry's i still think Bush is the right President for this next 4 years. Maybe we can all start a new fresh in 4 years - bah

On a different note i have guest list tonight for loop - Woopee !

And altho i was asleep at 9.00pm last night i feel absolutely whacked - maybe its amsterdam catching up on me.

Catch up later i have US Airlines to close and some other crap to sort before i can even think about having a laugh today - great ......


Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Terror alert status

I found this funny little thing on a blog
Terror Alert Level
Click the image above and see what happens.

Send FREE SMS here ! gosh how exciting !

This little gem of html allows you to send free text messages - Have a go by sending me one - my numbers below as the example number. Dont say i don't do anything for ya!

Send SMS

Recipient's phone number in international format e.g., (+44) 7906 598 175
You must use the + in front of the 44



Message text (max 140 characters):



By the way don't hold your breathe as it will probably take 2/3 hours to send

The service is supported by www.email2sms.ru

Weeble wants a fight . . . .



Dont mess with Weeble he's mental - Hop over to the main Weeble site for some fun

Bad news for Bears in Maryland !

The Sports Grinder: "Bad news bears

One more item on the one day black bear hunt held here in Maryland this week.

Maryland Bear Hunt Lasts Only One Day

Here's the best quote, towards the end -

'We're certainly glad that the killing has stopped, but the slaughter of yesterday just underscored how inhumane and indiscriminate this trophy hunt was,' said Michael Markarian, president of The Fund for Animals. 'The hunters were shooting bears at random, not targeting problem bears.'


Oh now, come on - there are no bad bears, they're just products of their environments. Society did this to them.

(How exactly do you tell if a bear is bad? Would that be the one with the six year olds leg in his mouth?).

America votes !

Well i never thought America's election could be so interesting - but YES i did stay up late and watch the votes roll in - Woke up this morning thinking there would be a result BUT NO! Anyway heres the link to have a look at live voting and possibly the bext use of FLASH i have ever seen - What a quality gizmo !

Anyway - Sonia didnt manage to erase all her work last night - Sill girl ... I felt so sorry for her she was in tears ... aw ...

Right off to work - be back later with the results !

Amusing . . .

Enter your worst enemies email for SPAM . . .






Might not work for some IP's .. try it ..


Tuesday, November 02, 2004

*humph

Right where do i start really .. Sonias called me from work at like 9pm and told me she'd cleared ie. deleted *not saved her work from this evening ... jesus .. i was a bit tuff and said that really should go home and get setteld ... basicallly .. thats what i said and .. well .. im sure im right.. Son' needs to get settled .. u know feel "at home" get a base .. what i call my "cave"

I feel pants...

hence my imood right now.....

back to deux ex ---- need to finish this bloody level its dring me MAD

My life is rated like this

Whilst trawling blogs - never thought it could be so much fun zzz. i found an amusing life rated link and i decided to test my life and how i rate so here goes


My life is rated NC-17.
What is your life rated?

Marvellous - So im NC-17 rated whatever the fuck that is ... well onwards and upwards i really do need to put my head down today and get some orders in - But somethings telling me its gonna be a long long day. bah

Monday, November 01, 2004

Amsterdam - The story in short

Absolutely funny as fuck ... Was a little aprehensive about the whole thing in all honesty - i was surprised to find Dam so clean and trouble free - All the toilets (but 1) were clean and smelling nice (amazing i know!) and all the girls were well behaved (ie not tooo sleezy) and i found it generally an ok place to go - So far as to say i would go with my missus maybe .. well maybe ... not sure its really a couples sort of place. And i tell you what i did see ! Kids walking around with parents thru all the girl streets ! WHATS THAT ABOUT ! its not a kids place - "erm Mummmy whys that girl in her underwear dancing in the window" Can u imagine trying to answer that to a kid of 5 ? NOPE i thought not ... well anwers on a postcard please !

Spent way to much bloody cash and Damien finally got his £50 well €50 - and in my mind thats enuff. I think the communial tug with Tim and James was the funniest moment - Leaving the place to get back to the bar all laughing at just how fucking funny that actually was - twas great ! And now i'm looking forward to xmas with Sonia and Slovakia - Maybe we might be able to fit Prague in between - i think possibly not however !

Just for the record heres what it costs in Amsterdam to releive all that pent up girl teasing tension.

Cool huh - I mean that gets you 5 minutes of hmmm i'd say 30+ different DVD's being played - Of which you have to be lucky otherwise you'll be flicking thru and watching poo and wee eating and horses getting blown - NOT NICE - and thankfully as i was fairly slaughtered this hasnt been scarred onto my memory as a horrid horrid vision.

Escape club in Amsterdam - dont go there unless you like hard euro trance that hurts your brain - Yep i know - Why even go there and pay €14 ... Anyway - Im not going into all the funnies one by one - there were just tooo many - And strictly speaking they are moments that cant be explained.

Well OK Just one then - On Saturday after spending Friday night high as a kite on posh (which i bought for Amsterdam) i had drunk 4 or 5 large Heinekens and we all went to a coffee shop for the obvious reason *cough. Ok so after 4 or 5 tokes of what i thought was run of the mill skunk - i found out to my dismay that it was super killer smash your face in skunk - and then went into a "no talking" coma for 3 hours or so - The worst 3 hours of my life for ages - I couldnt bloody talk - IMAGINE IT ! i mean 4 blokes you work with all taking the piss out of you but you cant answer back - you just nod and look stoopid. So anyway after 3 hours or so had passed i suddenly yawned and woke up - at which point i got up and shouted - FUCK YES IM BACK! to raptuous applause. By then the others had been solidly drinking for my coma time when i was drinking water only - so i was well up for it - and decided to get my own back and take the blinding piss out of them.....for the next 5 hours until i lost them - Found Damien and we went clubbing - see above for that... The next good story would be me waking up in the foyer of the hotel.

Yes -you may have you guessed it! I was sleepwalking and looking for a pee - i bet i thought i was at home and couldnt work - I met a couple on the way upstairs - They must have laughed - When i got back to the room Tim was looking out of the door wondering what the fuck i was doing. We had a little laugh about it the next day - its THE funniest thing thats happened to me in a long time !

o well that's basically it ... not much more i can write about so back to normality at last really will get on with my job.


My two favourite ladies having a snog ... Nice - Im in Amsterdam and these two are like mice while the cats away - pretty cool actually !
(C)Ruthless Jack