- Larousse Gastronomique
- Lulu's Provencal Table
- Le Repertoire de La Cuisine
- French Menu Cookbook
- Simple French Food
- The Cuisine of California
- Living Cuisine
- Rainbow Green Live-Food Cuisine
- Whole Foods Bible
- Fields of Plenty
- Homegrown: Pure and Simple
- The Cooking of Southwest France
- Real Food Daily Cookbook
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- Healing with Whole Foods
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- Kitchen
- Fresh Every Day
- Inspired By Ingredients
- Good Day for a Picnic
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- New Whole Foods Encyclopedia
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- Secrets of Salsa
- Serena, Food & Stories
- How It All Vegan
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- From My Mexico Kitchen
- Fresh Food Fast
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- Mediterranean Grains & Greens
- The Art of Eating
- On Food and Cooking
- The Candle Cafe Cookbook
- Spice Islands Cookbook
- The Berry Bible
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- The Cheese Board
- Whole Foods Market Cookbook
- The Pleasures of Slow Food
- Cooking for Mr. Latte
- The Green's Cookbook
- Back to the Table
- Art of Indian Veg. Cooking
- A Snob in the Kitchen
- Jeremiah Tower Cooks
- Neiman Marcus Cookbook
- SF Chronicle Cookbook II
- Asian Greens
- Cooking by Hand
- The Vineyard Kitchen
- The Bread Baker's Apprentice
- The Jimtown Store Cookbook
- The All New Joy of Cooking
- Once Upon a Tart
- Heaven's Banquet
- The Babbo Cookbook
- All American Cheese and Wine Book
- The Zuni Cafe Cookbook
- Hay Day Country Market Cookbook
- Rhone Appetit
- The Best Recipe
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- Patricia Wells' Trattoria
- Chez Panisse Fruits
- The Art of Chocolate
- Pretend Soup
- Block Parties and Poker Nights
- True Thai
- How To Eat
- The New American Cheese
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- The Balsamic Vinegar Cookbook
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- Chez Panisse Menu Cookbook
- Chez Panisse Vegetables
- Michael Chiarello's Casual Cooking
- Bill's: Breakfast Lunch + Dinner
- Chez Panisse PP+C
- My Mexico
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- Nigel Slater's Appetite
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- Chocolate
- Lorenza's Pasta
- Savoring The Day
- Jump Up and Kiss Me
- Raw: The Uncook Book
- Donna Hay: Off the Shelf
- Italy
- The Ultimate Ice Cream Book
- Secrets of Success Cookbook
- A Sweet Quartet
- Chez Panisse Dessert
- Bread Machine Magic
- The Healthy Kitchen
- How To Be A Domestic Goddess
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- Cheese Lover's Cookbook
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- FOOD: Culinary History
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- Fanny at Chez Panisse
- The Professional Chef
- Visual Food Encyclopedia
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- Food + Drink at Home
- Food Fast
- Vogue Ent.: SO+S
- M. Stewart Hors Doeuvres
- Red Chile Bible
Saturday, January 31, 2004
cooking links
Goatse - Goatse.cx - Wikipedia
Tribute to Goatse.cx (index of /fun/goatse/)
goatse.cx used to be the best shock site in the world until it was abusively shut down. This page is a tribute to this amazing piece of Internet folklore. Learn more about goatse on Wikipedia. Also, see a mirror on http://www.goatse.org/mirror/ (warning: explicit content).
The following pictures and animations have been taken here and there on the Internet. I have not yet given proper credit to the various authors, but this will come when I have some time. Enjoy.
Also, it kinda spoils the fun, but you can view the thumbnailed version of this page.
Real-life goatse material
Digital creations
Misc
Flash animations and games:
Additional goatse material:
Other shock sites:
- Last measure. Please do NOT click on half life 2!
Press reports
Goatse.cxFrom Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.Jump to: navigation, search Goatse.cx (pronounced "goat see," "goats," "goatsex," "goat say/seh", or "goat see dot cx", often truncated to goatse, often referenced by one of its current URLs) is one of the most infamous Internet shock sites and well-known Internet memes. Its front page contains a sexually explicit picture, hello.jpg, featuring a man wearing a gold ring on his left hand (and nothing else) manually stretching his anus and rectum to a diameter roughly equal to the width of his hand. Below his gaping anus, the man's dangling penis and testicles are visible. The site is commonly linked to by Internet trolls in order to shock unsuspecting users with the image. As of January 14, 2004, the domain goatse.cx is no longer online. However, many mirrors of the site are still available and the image itself has been posted at many other websites. The most common mirror was goat.cx; however, goat.cx was no longer online as of February 22, 2005. As of February 27 of that year, the domain goat.cx, like goatse.cx, had been suspended by the Christmas Island Internet Administration, however the domain as of April 2005 appeared to be back online, showing only the message "be right back." In May 2005, there was an image on the site showing a pumpkin with some hands around it as if it was stretching its anus. Christmas Island Technology Corp has registered goats.cx as of May 24, 2002 with obviously nonexistent name servers, presumably in an attempt to prevent another mirror of the original goatse.cx. In July 2005, goats.cx displayed the text "SIRS! WE HAVE A PROBLEM! ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO GOATS.CX!". The three mirrors that most closely resemble the original are currently at http://goatse.rubmyballs.net/, http://goatse.ragingfist.net/ and http://www.pr0ny.com/goatse/, all of which are entirely complete. Three other similar but incomplete mirrors are http://goatse.ca/, http://goatse.freespaces.com/ and http://www.notgoatse.com/, although none have the Giver, Contrib or Feedback sections. The second of the three has links to four other shock sites — Tubgirl, Harlequin Fetus, Lemonparty, and Loopback — whilst the latter links go to the website http://goat.cx/. The Internet Archive has the original site preserved as it was before it was shut down. [1] Please be aware that all of these sites contain graphic images.
Etymology The intended meaning of the site's name is not known for certain. It is commonly interpreted as a word play on the phrase "goat sex", although no goats are involved anywhere on the site. It has been claimed that prior to hello.jpg, Goatse.cx contained a picture of a woman being anally penetrated by a goat. This is incorrect. The alt attribute on the image, "stinger", actually comes from the EFNet #quake channel. The image itself was discovered on a webpage called members.xoom.com/stinger (it was removed and placed in members.xoom.com/_stinger). Goatse.cx was created by a #quake member expressly for the purpose of displaying the image. The Internet Archive only lists versions of the Goatse.cx site as far back as March, 1999, at which point hello.jpg was already being used. Others believe that goatse is actually an acronym for "Guy Opens Ass To Show Everyone", with the usage of the ".cx" TLD being purely coincidental. This is likely a backronym. Also, a member of another EFNet channel who, tired of the channel being mistaken for a warez channel, began sending hello.jpg to those who requested pirated software, renaming it appropriately to what was requested. Around this same time, members of that channel were also taking advantage of the free domain registration offered by the newly-online Christmas Islands NIC (.cx), many of whom played on the phonetic resemblance of "se.cx" to "sex". It was then that one of this channel's operators put hello.jpg on one of such domains, to facilitate easier and more effective shocks by replying to such requests with something like "see http://goatse.cx for all your cracks/warez needs."
Identity of the "Goatse Man"A series of pictures by a man identified as Kirk Johnson contain the precursor images to hello.jpg and some following. At this point, it is highly likely that Kirk Johnson is the "Goatse Man." Kirk Johnson is a regular poster to the newsgroup alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.male.anal, among others, and a rather simple analysis confirms this; it is unlikely that there is another practitioner of anal stretching with the same mole on the upper-left edge of his anus. Furthermore, both the gap.zip (see below) pictures and Kirk Johnson's pictures show the same large yellow buttplug being used. He has been given many nicknames by various Internet communities, including "The Goatse Guy", "Goatse Man", "G-Man", "Matt", "Narayan", "Assman", "Cavanah", "Bob Goatse", "The Ass Pirate" "Mr G.", "The Goatman", "The Receiver", "Stinger" (hello.jpg was originally passed around on IRC as _stinger.jpg, with the intent of prodding an op), "Gatasa", "Gman", "Goatsemon", "The Ass that started it All", "Ken Branca", "Goatse", "Gaping Ass Man", "Gay Byrne", "Señor Goatse", "Fuuma Monou", "MVG", "Cashy", "DJ Mandella" and many others. Some have speculated that "he" is actually a hermaphrodite, and may be pulling open his vagina. However, the rest of the images in the series are unambiguously male. An interview with a man who shows similar elasticity can be found at: http://www.bmezine.com/news/people/A20210/plp56/index.html [Be advised, this site also contains graphic images]
OrganizationGoatse.cx had four sections, three of which have images of questionable taste:
People sometimes link to goatse.cx images not shown on the actual webpages, such as loopback.jpg, a picture of a man looping his penis into his anus. There are also numerous other files in the directory http://www.goatse.cx/contrib/. The image hello.jpg originates from a set of 40 images depicting the man performing various anal sexual acts. In those images, the man used dildos and butt plugs to stretch his anus. The images were located by Stile Project and are also available from the "Contrib" section of the goatse.cx website under the filename gap.zip. hello.jpg is the third file in the archive, gap3.jpg.
Geographic locationThe site uses the .cx country code, which is the top-level domain of Christmas Island, whose operators will not disclose registrants' personal information. They have recently suspended the site. The actual server of Goatse.cx is not located on Christmas Island, but in the United States and is owned by Hick.org, which is a website about computer programming and bathroom humor. The Hick.org domain was registered by Matt Miller in Overland Park, Kansas. Both Goatse.cx and Hick.org originate from the same IP address; the server is located in the Kansas City, Missouri metro-region. Goat.cx, a mirror of Goatse.cx, is located in the Dallas, Texas metro-region.
Parodies and tributes Snopes says that the front cover of the September 20, 2004 issue of Time magazine is seen by some to look suspiciously like hello.jpg Because many frequent Internet users have been tricked into viewing the site at one time or another, it has become something of an Internet-wide in-joke. As such, hello.jpg and the other images on the site are common subjects of parodies and tributes.
"Temple of Goatse", a map for the Quake 2 mod Gloom, features a version of goatse.
Goatse.cx featured for the final objective in an Unreal Tournament 2004 assault level.
External linksWarning! Many of the links below contain the same images found on Goatse.cx.
|
- SIR IAN BLAIR: SORRY EXCUSE
- DING DONG.. AVON COPS TO THE RESCUE
- EXCLUSIVE: VICTIMS TO GET 'SCHOOL REPORTS' ON CRIMINALS
- LIVERPOOL STAR CISSE ATTACKS PREGNANT WIFE
- CLUB VICTIM: I WISH I'D DIED
- GATES GIVES £340MILLION TO STOP TB DEATHS
- 5 IN OAPS' DEATH QUIZ
- OCEANS FIVE
- EXCLUSIVE: FROM BONNIE CHILD STAR TO ICE QUEEN
- HUGHES: WE CAN WIN BY LANDSLIDE
- BOMB BID: AID CHARGE
- GREG'S BABY JOY
- LEFT FOR DEAD BY GRINNING HIT & RUN SPEEDER
- SAILOR LOST FOR 4 DAYS
- PROPERTY CRASH FEAR
- PEOPLE
- COPS' OWN MEDIA 'BIAS'
- FURY OVER 'KILLER' RAIL SIGNAL OK
- 100 EXTRA PLACES FOR DENTISTS
- SHOT GIRL: MAN ON REMAND
- EXCLUSIVE: THE IBOOT
- MOON RACE 2
- READY, PREZZY, ..OW!
- RAP SOLID ARGUMENT
- FILE SHARE WEB BLOW
- MISERY OF BLIND GIRL
- DEBT LAD IN SUICIDE
- EXCLUSIVE: RED TAPE BLOCKS BONE MARROW OP
- POLLYOMETER
- AND THE WINNER IS.. LOVE
- GALLOWAY RETURNS TO HIS PUBLIC
- EXCLUSIVE: ACID PETE OFFERED TV TALK SHOWS
- FREE FLIPPER
- AFGHAN AID FOR TROOPS
- PALTROW RAPS GIRL BOOZERS
- KATE IN ESCAPE TO ALPS
Monday, January 19, 2004
blog history
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Linkage
| aaliyah abbie eastwood abi titmuss adriana limaUpdated! adriana sklenarikova adrienne barbeau adrienne corri adrien brody agnes bruckner ahmo hight aimee graham aishwarya rai aj johnson aki alanis morissette alessandra ambrosio alessia marcuzzi alessia merzUpdated! alexandra kamp alexandra kerry alexandra paul alexis bledel alex kingston alice deejay alice dodd alice krige alicia keys alicia silverstoneUpdated! alicia witt alison armitage alison lohman aliya campbell alizee Updated! ali bastian ali landry ali larter ali macgraw ali rachel ally hilfiger ally sheedy alyson hannigan alyssa milano amanda bearse amanda bynes amanda coetzer amanda detmer amanda donohoe amanda holden amanda peet amanda ryan amanda tapping amber smith amira casar amy acker amy brenneman amy jo johnson amy lindsay amy locane amy lynn baxter amy nuttall amy smart amy weber amy yasbeck anastacia anastacia newkirk ana claudia talancon ana hickman andie macdowell andrea corr andrea parker andrea roth andrea thompson angela bassett angelica bridges angelina jolie angel boris angie dickinson angie everhart angie harmon anita morris anjelica huston annabella sciorra anna falchi anna faris anna friel anna kournikova anna loos anna nicole smith anna paquin annette bening annette otoole anne hathaway anne heche ashanti ashlee simpson ashley judd asia argento astrid munroe audrey tautou avril lavigneUpdated! 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christina ricci christine taylor christine vachon christy carlson romano chyler leigh ciara cindy crawford cindy margolis cindy van meenen claire danesUpdated! claire forlani claudia christian claudia schiffer clea duvall cloris leachman colleen fitzpatrick connie nielsen corinne bohrer courteney cox courtney love cristina canhos cybill shepherd cynthia gibb cynthia nixon daisy fuentes dana delany dana plato danica mckellar daniela pestova danielle fishel daphne zuniga darva conger daryl hannah dawn marie deanne berry debi mazarUpdated! deborah caprioglio deborah unger debra messing debra wilson debra winger demi mooreUpdated! denise crosby denise richards devon aokiUpdated! diana espen diane franklin diane keaton diane kruger diane lane dian parkinson dido dina meyer dolly parton dominique swain donna derrico drew barrymore dyan cannon elisabeth shue elisha cuthbert elizabeth berkley elizabeth hurley elizabeth perkins eliza dushkuUpdated! ellen barkin ellen degeneres elle macpherson emily booth emily lloyd emily procter emmanuelle beart emmanuelle chriqui emmanuelle seigner emmanuelle vaugier emma caulfield emma harrison emma samms emmy rossum erica leerhsen erika eleniak erinn bartlett erin gray estella warren esther de jong evan rachel woodUpdated! 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liv tyler liz phair lori loughlin lucy liu lynda carter madeleine stowe madeleine west madonnaUpdated! magdalena wrobel mandy mooreUpdated! marcia gay harden mariah carey maria bello maria menounos mariel hemingway marilyn chambers marina sirtis marisa tomei mari morrow marla sokoloff martha stewart martina hingis mary elizabeth mastrantonio mary steenburgen masuimi max mathilda mayUpdated! maura tierneyUpdated! meg ryan melania knauss melinda melissa george melissa joan hart melyssa ade mena suvari meryl streep mia farrow mia kirshner mia sara New! michelle branch michelle burke michelle kwan michelle maradie michelle pfeiffer michelle rodriguezUpdated! michelle trachtenberg michelle williams miho kanno mila kunis milla jovovich mimi macpherson mimi rogers ming na wen minnie driverUpdated! miranda otto mira sorvino mischa barton molly holly molly sims monica bellucciUpdated! monica keena morgan webb mya nandini mitra naomi campbell naomi watts natalie imbruglia natalie portman natasha gregson wagner natasha henstridge natasha mcelhone natassja kinskiUpdated! nell mcandrew neriah davis neve campbell neve mcintosh nia vardalosUpdated! nicky hilton nicola willougby nicole eggert nicole hiltz nicole kidmanUpdated! nicole narain nicole richie nicollette sheridanNew! niki taylor nikki cox nikki nova nikki schieler ziering nikki zieringUpdated! nina moric New! norah jones | odalys garcia odessa munroe oksana baiul olsen twinsUpdated! orlaith mcallister paige davis pamela anderson pamela gidley pam grier New! paris hiltonUpdated! parker posey patricia arquette patricia heaton paula abdul penelope cruzUpdated! peta wilson phaedra hosteUpdated! phoebe cates pink piper perabo portia derossi queen latifah rachael leigh cook rachel bilsonUpdated! rachel hunter rachel mcadams rachel miner rachel stevens rachel weisz raquel welch raquel zimmerman rebecca demornay rebecca gayheartUpdated! rebecca romijn reese witherspoon rena riffel renee zellweger rene russo rhona mitraUpdated! rie rasmussenUpdated! robin tunney robin wright romy schneider rosamund pike rosanna arquette rosario dawsonUpdated! rosa blasi roselyn sanchezUpdated! rose mcgowanUpdated! rosie perez ryan starrUpdated! sable saffron burrows salma hayek samantha fox samantha mumba sandra bullock sarah jessica parker sarah manners sarah marbeck sarah michelle gellar sarah polley sara foster scarlett johansson selma blair serena williams shae lynn bourne shakiraUpdated! shana hiattUpdated! shania twain shannen doherty shannon elizabethUpdated! shannon whirry shannyn sossamon sharon stone sheena easton sheri moon sheryl crow shirley manson sienna guillory sienna miller sigourney weaver sissy spacek soleil moon frye sophie marceauUpdated! stacy dash stacy keiblerUpdated! stephanie mcmahon stephanie seymour New! summer altice sung hi lee susan ward tamara beckwith tamzin outhwaite tara reid tara subkoff tatum oneal tea leoniUpdated! teri hatcher thandie newton thora birch tia carrere tiffani amber thiessen tina fey tlc toni braxton tonya harding tori spelling torrie wilson traci bingham traci lords trish stratus trista rehn tyra banks uma thurman ursula andress valeria mazza vanessa angel vanessa carlton vanessa marcilUpdated! vanessa williams vanna white victoria adams victoria silvstedt vida guerra virginia madsenNew! virginie ledoyen vivica a fox wendy fowlerUpdated! whitney houstonNew! willa ford winona ryder xenia seeberg yamila diaz yasmine bleeth zhang ziyi zooey des |
Saturday, January 10, 2004
Monday, January 05, 2004
This Is the Title of This Story,
This Is the Title of This Story,
Which Is Also Found Several Times in the Story Itself
David Moser
This is the first sentence of this story. This is the second sentence. This is the title of this story, which is also found several times in the story itself. This sentence is questioning the intrinsic value of the first two sentences. This sentence is to inform you, in case you haven't already realized it, that this is a self-referential story, that is, a story containing sentences that refer to their own structure and function. This is a sentence that provides an ending to the first paragraph.
This is the first sentence of a new paragraph in a self-referential story. This sentence is introducing you to the protagonist of the story, a young boy named Billy. This sentence tells you that Billy is blond and blue-eyed and American and twelve years old and strangling his mother. This sentence comments on the awkward nature of the self-referential narrative form while recognizing the strange and playful detachment it affords the writer. As if illustrating the point made by the last sentence, this sentence reminds us, with no trace of facetiousness, that children are a precious gift from God and that the world is a better place when graced by the unique joys and delights they bring to it.
This sentence describes Billy's mother's bulging eyes and protruding tongue and makes reference to the unpleasant choking and gagging noises she's making. This sentence makes the observation that these are uncertain and difficult times, and that relationships, even seemingly deep-rooted and permanent ones, do have a tendency to break down.
Introduces, in this paragraph, the device of sentence fragments. A sentence fragment. Another. Good device. Will be used more later.
This is actually the last sentence of this story but has been placed here by mistake. This is the title of this story, which is also found several times within the story itself. As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself in his bed transformed into a gigantic insect. This sentence informs you that the preceding sentence is from another story entirely (a better one, it must be noted) and has no place at all in this particular narrative. Despite the claims of the preceding sentence, this sentence feels compelled to inform you that the story you are reading is in actuality ``The Metamorphosis'' by Franz Kafka, and that the sentence referred to by the preceding sentence is the only sentence which does indeed belong to the story. This sentence overrides the preceding sentence by informing the reader (poor, confused wretch) that this piece of literature is actually the Declaration of Independence, but that the author, in a show of extreme negligence (if not malicious sabotage), has so far failed to include even one single sentence from that stirring document, although he has condescended to use a small sentence fragment, namely, ``When in the course of human events,'' embedded in quotation marks near the end of a sentence. Showing a keen awareness of the boredom and downright hostility of the average reader with regard to the pointless conceptual games indulged in by the preceding sentences, this sentence returns us at last to the scenario of the story by asking the question, ``Why is Billy strangling his mother?'' This sentence attempts to shed some light on the question posed by the preceding sentence but fails. This sentence, however, succeeds, in that it suggests a possible incestuous relationship between Billy and his mother and alludes to the concomitant Freudian complications an astute reader will immediately envision. Incest. The unspeakable taboo. The universal prohibition. Incest. And notice the sentence fragments? Good literary device. Will be used more later.
This sentence is the first sentence in a new paragraph. This is the last sentence in a new paragraph.
This sentence can serve as either the beginning of the paragraph or the end, depending on its placement. This is the title of this story, which is also found several times in the story itself. This sentence raises a serious objection to the entire class of self-referential sentences that merely comment on their own function or placement within the story (e.g., the preceding four sentences), on the grounds that they are monotonously predictable, unforgivably self-indulgent, and merely serve to distract the reader from the real subject of this story, which at this point seems to concern strangulation and incest and who knows what other delightful topics. The purpose of this sentence is to point out that the preceding sentence, while not itself a member of the class of self-referential sentences it objects to, nevertheless also serves merely to distract the reader from the real subject of this story, which actually concerns Gregor Samsa's inexplicable transformation into a gigantic insect (despite the vociferous counterclaims of other well-meaning although misinformed sentences). This sentence can serve as either the beginning of the paragraph or the end, depending on its placement.
This is the title of this story, which is also found several times in the story itself. This is almost the title of this story, which is found only once in the story itself. This sentence regretfully states that up to this point the self-referential mode of narrative has had a paralyzing effect on the actual progress of the story itself---that is, these sentences have been so concerned with analyzing themselves and their role in the story that they have failed by and large to perform their function as communicators of events and ideas that one hopes coalesce into a plot, character development, etc.---in short, the very raisons d'être of any respectable, hardworking sentence in the midst of a piece of compelling prose fiction. This sentence in addition points out the obvious analogy between the plight of these agonizingly self-aware sentences and similarly afflicted human beings, and it points out the analogous paralyzing effects wrought by excessive and tortured self-examination.
The purpose of this sentence (which can also serve as a paragraph) is to speculate that if the Declaration of Independence had been worded and structured as lackadaisically and incoherently as this story has been so far, there's no telling what kind of warped libertine society we'd be living in now or to what depths of decadence the inhabitants of this country might have sunk, even to the point of deranged and debased writers constructing irritatingly cumbersome and needlessly prolix sentences that sometimes possess the questionable if not downright undesirable quality of referring to themselves and they sometimes even become run-on sentences or exhibit other signs of inexcusably sloppy grammar like unneeded superfluous redundancies that almost certainly would have insidious effects on the lifestyle and morals of our impressionable youth, leading them to commit incest or even murder and maybe that's why Billy is strangling his mother, because of sentences just like this one, which have no discernible goals or perspicuous purpose and just end up anywhere, even in mid
Bizarre. A sentence fragment. Another fragment. Twelve years old. This is a sentence that. Fragmented. And strangling his mother. Sorry, sorry. Bizarre. This. More fragments. This is it. Fragments. The title of this story, which. Blond. Sorry, sorry. Fragment after fragment. Harder. This is a sentence that. Fragments. Damn good device.
The purpose of this sentence is threefold: (1) to apologize for the unfortunate and inexplicable lapse exhibited by the preceding paragraph; (2) to assure you, the reader, that it will not happen again; and (3) to reiterate the point that these are uncertain and difficult times and that aspects of language, even seemingly stable and deeply rooted ones such as syntax and meaning, do break down. This sentence adds nothing substantial to the sentiments of the preceding sentence but merely provides a concluding sentence to this paragraph, which otherwise might not have one.
This sentence, in a sudden and courageous burst of altruism, tries to abandon the self-referential mode but fails. This sentence tries again, but the attempt is doomed from the start.
This sentence, in a last ditch attempt to infuse some iota of story line into this paralyzed prose piece, quickly alludes to Billy's frantic cover-up attempts, followed by a lyrical, touching, and beautifully written passage, wherein Billy is reconciled with his father (thus resolving the subliminal Freudian conflicts obvious to any astute reader) and a final exciting police chase scene during which Billy is accidentally shot and killed by a panicky rookie policeman who is coincidentally named Billy. This sentence, although basically in complete sympathy with the laudable efforts of the preceding action-packed sentence, reminds the reader that such allusions to a story that doesn't, in fact, yet exist are no substitute for the real thing and therefore will not get the author (indolent goof-off that he is) off the proverbial hook.
Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph.
The purpose. Of this paragraph. Is to apologize. For its gratuitous use. Of. Sentence fragments. Sorry.
The purpose of this sentence is to apologize for the pointless and silly adolescent games indulged in by the preceding two paragraphs, and to express regret on the part of us, the more mature sentences, that the entire tone of this story is such that it can't seem to communicate a simple, albeit sordid, scenario.
This sentence wishes to apologize for all the needless apologies found in this story (this one included), which, although placed here ostensibly for the benefit of the more vexed readers, merely delay in a maddeningly recursive way the continuation of the by-now nearly forgotten story line.
This sentence is bursting at the punctuation marks with news of the dire import of self-reference as applied to sentences, a practice that could prove to be a veritable Pandora's box of potential havoc, for if a sentence can refer or allude to itself, why not a lowly subordinate clause, perhaps this very clause? Or this sentence fragment? Or three words? Two words? One?
Perhaps it is appropriate that this sentence gently and with no trace of condescension remind us that these are indeed difficult and uncertain times and that in general people just aren't nice enough to each other, and perhaps we, whether sentient human beings or sentient sentences, should just try harder. I mean, there is such a thing as free will, there has to be, and this sentence is proof of it! Neither this sentence nor you, the reader, is completely helpless in the face of all the pitiless forces at work in the universe. We should stand our ground, face facts, take Mother Nature by the throat and just try harder. By the throat. Harder. Harder, harder.
Sorry.
This is the title of this story, which is also found several times in the story itself.
This is the last sentence of the story. This is the last sentence of the story. This is the last sentence of the story. This is.
Sorry.
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About Me
- Awallafashagba
- Well, in short - it's news and thoughts from my life with my gorgeous Kelly and Stan. Anything gets written about if it matters enough on the minute that I blog it. (all care is taken to remove identity of those not wanting to be identified - and just about anything goes!)