Monday, November 01, 2004

Amsterdam - The story in short

Absolutely funny as fuck ... Was a little aprehensive about the whole thing in all honesty - i was surprised to find Dam so clean and trouble free - All the toilets (but 1) were clean and smelling nice (amazing i know!) and all the girls were well behaved (ie not tooo sleezy) and i found it generally an ok place to go - So far as to say i would go with my missus maybe .. well maybe ... not sure its really a couples sort of place. And i tell you what i did see ! Kids walking around with parents thru all the girl streets ! WHATS THAT ABOUT ! its not a kids place - "erm Mummmy whys that girl in her underwear dancing in the window" Can u imagine trying to answer that to a kid of 5 ? NOPE i thought not ... well anwers on a postcard please !

Spent way to much bloody cash and Damien finally got his £50 well €50 - and in my mind thats enuff. I think the communial tug with Tim and James was the funniest moment - Leaving the place to get back to the bar all laughing at just how fucking funny that actually was - twas great ! And now i'm looking forward to xmas with Sonia and Slovakia - Maybe we might be able to fit Prague in between - i think possibly not however !

Just for the record heres what it costs in Amsterdam to releive all that pent up girl teasing tension.

Cool huh - I mean that gets you 5 minutes of hmmm i'd say 30+ different DVD's being played - Of which you have to be lucky otherwise you'll be flicking thru and watching poo and wee eating and horses getting blown - NOT NICE - and thankfully as i was fairly slaughtered this hasnt been scarred onto my memory as a horrid horrid vision.

Escape club in Amsterdam - dont go there unless you like hard euro trance that hurts your brain - Yep i know - Why even go there and pay €14 ... Anyway - Im not going into all the funnies one by one - there were just tooo many - And strictly speaking they are moments that cant be explained.

Well OK Just one then - On Saturday after spending Friday night high as a kite on posh (which i bought for Amsterdam) i had drunk 4 or 5 large Heinekens and we all went to a coffee shop for the obvious reason *cough. Ok so after 4 or 5 tokes of what i thought was run of the mill skunk - i found out to my dismay that it was super killer smash your face in skunk - and then went into a "no talking" coma for 3 hours or so - The worst 3 hours of my life for ages - I couldnt bloody talk - IMAGINE IT ! i mean 4 blokes you work with all taking the piss out of you but you cant answer back - you just nod and look stoopid. So anyway after 3 hours or so had passed i suddenly yawned and woke up - at which point i got up and shouted - FUCK YES IM BACK! to raptuous applause. By then the others had been solidly drinking for my coma time when i was drinking water only - so i was well up for it - and decided to get my own back and take the blinding piss out of them.....for the next 5 hours until i lost them - Found Damien and we went clubbing - see above for that... The next good story would be me waking up in the foyer of the hotel.

Yes -you may have you guessed it! I was sleepwalking and looking for a pee - i bet i thought i was at home and couldnt work - I met a couple on the way upstairs - They must have laughed - When i got back to the room Tim was looking out of the door wondering what the fuck i was doing. We had a little laugh about it the next day - its THE funniest thing thats happened to me in a long time !

o well that's basically it ... not much more i can write about so back to normality at last really will get on with my job.

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